Baxter Black: Dad ponders cowboy son's dating future

A father has a responsibility to pass along to his male offspring those mechanical, philosophical and verbal skills to attract and select a suitable mate and mother for his future children.

But where can a busy young cowboy begin his search? My friend (I’ll call him Bob) has a busy teenage cowboy growing up in his house. Bob is pondering his son’s future and proposed designing a “girlfriend training enterprise.” It is based on his own horse training and trading business. Typical ads might read:

Team ropers and trainers: Need a dolly? Finished girlfriend available — 23 years old, fine-boned, plenty of chrome, current driver’s license CDL qualified, some shoeing experience, can warm up the rough ones, low maintenance, likes Mountain Dew and bologna, can play pitch and has no desire to barrel race.

Norwegian bachelors and West Texas ranchers of a certain age: Companion available: Over 30, can dead-lift 200 pounds, has been vaccinated for tetanus, flu, shingles, BSE, Bangs, Anaplaz and the Nile virus. Can make biscuits out of creosote bush, sagebrush or leafy spurge, is a dead-shot and is willing to move.

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