Cowgirl Sass & Savvy

For what's it worth -- advice from the saddle

by Julie Carter


I wander through my days pretty much like everybody else. I have to make a living, pay my bills, be kind to my neighbors and find inspiration to write each week.

Usually I'm as surprised as you are at what might finally hit the page and it's not uncommon to come to my computer keyboard with a hodgepodge of ideas -- or none at all.

A writer's prompt showed up in my email box that asked "what is the best advice you ever received?" I queried a few friends with the same question and each answered true to their personalities.

• Never date a woman you don't respect enough to marry.
• Marry a good man. In 20 years, their looks will be gone but if you marry a good man, he will still be a good man in 20 years.
• Stand straight. Tall girls don't have to be beautiful. The boys see them first.
• I get so much advice from my husband and he assures me it is all wonderful.
• No matter who says what, don't believe it if it doesn't make sense.
• When someone shows you what they are, don't ask them to show you again.
One cowboy, who is clever with his short, direct answers simply said, "Never saddle a horse named Bucky." I fell for that once, thinking that the horse's name, Buck, was for his color. The bad advice that follows is always, "Just turn your toes out. There ain't nothing to him." It worked but it wasn't pretty.
Along those same lines, there are some classics among cowboys that are worth repeating. I credit most of these to Texas Bix Bender's book, "Don't Squat with your Spurs On! -- A Cowboy's Guide to Life."
• Don't believe all that you hear, spend all that you have or sleep all that you want.
• When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
• Don't judge folks by their relatives.
• There are three kinds of men. Some learn by reading, some by observation and the rest have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
• If you get to thinking you are a person of influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
• Good judgment comes from experience but a lot of experience comes from bad judgment.
• It's best to keep your troubles to yourself because half the people you tell them to won't give a darn and the other half will be glad to hear you've got them.
• Most folks are like a barbwire fence. They have their good points.
• The best way to keep your word is not to give it foolishly.
• Always take a good look at what you are about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is but it's critical to know what it was.
• The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swallow.
• Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.


And my favorite: The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every morning.

Julie can be reached for comment at jcarternm@gmail.com.