Wednesday, September 10, 2014

I have frickin' gone crazy ... I've had enough!

 Received by email today:



I have frickin' gone crazy ... I've had enough! Today, I have determined henceforth this will be the direction and theme of my existence. 
1. At lunch time, sit in the pickup with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.

2. On all check stubs, write 'For Marijuana'!

3. Skip down the street rather than walk.

4. Order a ‘diet water’ when I eat somewhere.

5. Sing along at the Dentist's office ... he actually picks some good music.

6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won! I won!'

7. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling  'Run for your lives! The sons-of-bitches are loose!'

8. Tell the children over dinner: “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go...”

9. Pick up a box of condoms at the Pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

10. Seek a public restroom with a long line of guys, drop my pants clear to the floor like my mother used to do to me when I was three ... proceed and in midstream announce, "Dang, that water is cold down there."

And then finally:

11. Go to a large Department store’s fitting room, drop my drawers to my ankles  (like my mother did to me when I was three) and yell out: “There’s no paper in here”! 

Yep, that's what I plan to do ...


 Still figurin' out what to do with those WSA signs...

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