Sunday, December 20, 2015

Cowgirl Sass & Savvy

Workin’ for peanuts

 by Julie Carter

Cowboys are always a never-ending source of funny quips and one-liners delivered with a matter-of-fact tone that belies the actual humor within the words. 

Put a cowboy on an airplane headed to the bright lights of Las Vegas during the Wrangler National Finals Rodeo and his capacity for wit and humor pegs the needle on the laugh meter. The only thing funnier is an entire plane load full of them.

Obviously acquainted and buddies, the banter is passed back and forth amidst the stewardess' attempts to take drink orders and offer the usual Southwest Airlines snack. 

Lightheartedly, one cowboy suggested little juice boxes would be in order for the lot of them because they needed to stay sober for their arrival in Vegas. He had been assured they were to be met by the champion Australian beach volleyball team. He had plans for fun in the sand.

The discussion quickly moved to a recent trip to Vegas one of the lads had made to stand up in a wedding. It was for his good friend who had decided, on the spur of the moment and a night of drinking, to get married. The story teller said he got called in the middle of night, jumped on a plane and the wedding took place as soon as everybody could get there, at 8 a.m.

The cowboy next to him said, "If I ever get married again, it'll be in the Elvis Wedding Chapel using a bubble gum wrapper for a wedding ring. That's about as serious as I plan to be about it. I rode that horse already!"

With only an hour of open-bar time, the cowboys in rows 13 and 14 managed to get themselves dubbed the "two-fer boys," both for beer and peanuts.

As a parting gift, over the loud speaker, the stewardess recognized them for their good humor and fun. She also handed them a large bag of the peanut snack sacks as a reward for their "entertainment show."
Those cowboys gave new meaning to "working for peanuts."

On the shuttle bus to the hotel, a Texas cowboy, who showed some signs of aging wisdom, said he'd had to quit gambling. When one of the other passengers asked why, he replied, "They kept complaining about the spit cups I used when I chewed, and I damn sure wasn't going to give up chewing."

Eight-time PRCA world champion bull rider Donny Gay was working the NFR behind the ESPN microphone during the bull riding. When asked if he thought he could still ride a bull Donnie said, "Sometimes I think so. Then I look down and there are about 25 pounds of me that have never been on a bull."

The trade shows draw as many crowds as the casinos do. At a National Ropers Supply booth a cowboy was scrutinizing a belt loaded with shiny glitz. "That's too blingy for you," his wife said to him. He chuckled as he hung the belt back on the rack and said, "Yeah, that’s true. I'm too fat to be flashy."
Words to live by.

Julie can be reached for comment at

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