Monday, January 11, 2016

Enteric Wasting Diseases

Happy New Year!
Enteric Wasting Diseases
The squaring of Orifices and other congressional chicanery
By Stephen L. Wilmeth

            On January 1, the Washington Corporation issued an updated Federal Order related to endemic congressional enteric wasting diseases, effective January 4, 2015.
            The updated Order is expected to do several things, including changing how your tax dollars will be leveraged into meteoric rises in the levels of national debt. This congress has reprioritized its campaign promises conditional on political chicanery and will instead refocus all remaining discretionary spending on capitulation and the full dismantling of the Constitution. With this modification, the funds you provide and or co-sign for should last long enough to cover the continuing resolution through the fiscal year.
            The revised Federal Order will also enhance the human herd plan requirement as well as reimbursement to special interest groups competing for those plan reviews. Necessarily, it will eliminate all reimbursements to productive Americans for biosecurity reasons, like weekly bathing. Saving water is most important for the environment.
            Today, the Corporation is receiving more accurate and timely information on the movement and whereabouts of affected contributing herd members and their marginal productivity. The data gives them a more comprehensive understanding of complainers and how to contain the spread of that danger. In the last five months, the weekly average of new confirmed cases of patriotism has dropped 27% when compared to the average number of weekly cases during the peak of the outbreak at 9/11.
            One point of optimism in the report suggests that the reporting criteria are unchanged in the updated Federal Order.
            2016 and lots of questions
            Happy New Year!
            Amid the New Year expectations, however, there must necessarily be some emergence of concern about the entire productive sector. December’s report says optimism should be manageable at least through the Iowa and New Hampshire cauci, but it should be largely deflated by press leaks and negative productive sector hopes by midsummer. Summer futures are likely to be unprofitable and fall contracts for rigging the election results will see competition rising to crescendo and feverish pitches.
            Cash to market spread corruption should be expected to once again come from another Republican led continuing resolution collapse in order to keep from being criticized. Words hurt those folks. Their feelings are rather delicate.
            The opposition, though, will be glued to their live streams as the patriotic herd growth indices are released. The liberal fear is that the results will be at levels higher than last year’s .7% increase, and, Republican timidity not withstanding, it could actually spark a conservative victory.
            The more progressive think tanks, however, no longer put much stock in any of the patriotic growth index listings. If the real growth rate had been acknowledged in the last cycle, the 4.4% of 2008, precedent now concludes it could have been dealt with by an added but manageable infusion of hush money that would have assured retreat among the backward flushing yellow streamers. They would have covered their shorts with white-out from profit taking as if it was expected.
            That brings up a good question, though.
            Does the productive human herd really matter any more, and, if not, how will productivity grow? As stated before, any leadership from recent congressional rookeries has had a negative correlation between the size of the productive index and the majority in either chamber. The reason, of course, must be the epidemic virus of attrition of internal nerve synapses or what is commonly referred to by the great unwashed as “guts”. It is also known regionally as the McClellan syndrome whereby regardless of readiness for battle more of something is always needed. Its cycle of occurrence invariably takes place when national press coverage foretells the likelihood of name calling. It gets to the republicans every time. Their symptoms are so obvious even the janitors notice it by the quaking of their anatomical orifices.
            Speaking of Orifices
            The General Order is getting a boost from the Human Rights Commission, a fairly indistinct agency (or something similar) created out of the liberal judicial interpretations of the Constitutional interstate commerce clause. That robust crew of hoody practitioners is about ready to make it illegal for the productive herd ownerships to limit sex-specific facilities such as bathrooms, showers, and locker rooms for persons with the anatomical parts of a single, distinct sex (for those readers among you who might hail from Mogollon Creek, O’Malley Road, or Redrock, that means a hangy down part doesn’t trump the inversion thereof, and, when nature calls, the participants get to compare theirs in subtle detail over gleaming tile).
The rookery on the hill, of course, doesn’t have to follow suit, but the whole idea offers a brilliant concept for future state or party-of-origin labeling. Without labeling requirements, both parties can disappear into the woodwork only to reappear as anything their stable managers deem necessary. If there is a shortage of votes needed for well healed sponsored legislation, the rookery residents can cast their votes for the most lucrative marginal personal gain without attention. The weanlings can then slip back and forth across the aisle on their tippy toes with time to make pleasantries without worrying about image.
After all, their time has come and their presence must be deemed nothing short of smashing!
Commercial and Orson’s project
After a commercial break, Mr. Welles’ program outline suggests we change tempo and go into a discourse about how this plays into exchange rates and the actions of Russia, China, and Brazil, but I don’t find that appealing. Regardless of the logic we impart, we know that the outcome will be tied to climate change. Climate change, which gained fame and notoriety as global warming until the cooling trends couldn’t be concealed any longer, is the go to logic basket from which all decisions can now be made. Swine management, fish manure disposal, seed counts, the depth of seedbeds or ocean bottoms, and the regression models thereof that can accurately predict welfare participation rates and or cell phone manufacturing costs are now sealed in the nuances of climate change.
That’s all this government needs.
So, Orson and I are going down the hallway to play pitch by the fire for the rest of the night. We’ll let some other fools sit in as they crank the power up to compete with the cartel broadcast beam from the crew across from Del Rio.
Yea, we know there are many daunting questions left unattended, but that’s nothing new. It all boils down to the same thing. If you have a business to run and it doesn’t produce enough liquidity to pay the King’s men protection money, button down the hatches because it will only be your attitude that makes a difference. The crows of this congress won’t be counted upon to make any decision that makes it easier for you to exist. You’re on your own, Bubba, but keep it down. Orson and I are going to work on some crazy project he has about the world at war with some … federal agency.

Stephen L. Wilmeth is a rancher from southern New Mexico. “Happy New Year! Another eleven months of this, and …the other shoe may well drop!”

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