SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE WESTERNER

If Momma ain’t happy, something is going to happen

By Julie Carter

It’s an old adage that says “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

Anyone that ever had a momma will instantly recall first-hand a time when that saying applied ever so much to them personally.

While it fits any and all that have a mother in the house, I believe it is especially descriptive of the mommas that work along side the men of the family as is typical in the world of agriculture.

For generations women of the west have quietly covered both jobs in and out of the home with little recognition and for the most part, not much gratitude. It is just what they do and they get it done because.

Renowned western artist Gordon Snidow’s new release called “If Momma ain’t happy” captures a look and an attitude consistent with his American Woman Series. One glance and a dozen mental scenarios follow with the possibilities of what is going to happen next.

Snidow’s obvious admiration and empathy for the women who can ride, rope and do it all are captured in a series of paintings that have endeared him to every woman who ever was a cowgirl, wanted to be a cowgirl or even just knew a cowgirl.

The allure isn’t due solely to the genuine working cowgirl clothing and gear in which he garbs them. It is the attitude that emanates from their stance, the look on their face and the caption he has written reading their minds. We all think we have been there, done that, and in another lifetime will look that good while we do it.

There is a belief in some parts of the west that canned Spam was invented as indicator of momma’s frame of mind. One meal of the meat-like gelled over substance could possibly be for convenience. Two consecutive meals will have the household dining warily and three denotes an immediate need for repentance for something said, done or inferred.

Other ranch families will attest that when the dogs hide or momma is riding far out in front of the herd, trouble is brewing.

While having had many of those first thoughts myself and in reviewing “first thoughts” from other cowgirl mamma’s, I find what is hardest to take in the heat of the moment is the inevitable charming smile from Dad. He is quite sure that will fix all ills of the world including world hunger.

The key words being “world hunger.” His world usually sees retribution via the cook stove in one form or another. The guy that ordered up a “nice lunch” for the cow buyer and then forgot to show up to eat it, ate that enchilada casserole for every meal until it was gone. It was then replaced by another just like it to continue the same fare for at least another week.

The head honcho of the outfit doesn’t really mean to be that insensitive. He just says or does dumb things at really dumb times and has to improvise to avoid the consequences of his words or actions.

His remorse is short lived. Usually it has completely dissipated right after his next reasonable meal.

If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. Timeless words for a timeless situation. Now stand back while I open this next can of spam.

Julie can be reached for comment at jcarter@tularosa.net Today she is happy so everyone is happy.

© Julie Carter 2005

Is your farm for sale?

By Larry Gabriel

Many owners of farms and ranches are being asked if their place is for sale. Some of us simply say, "My ranch is not for sale. Not at any price."

It is a normal cycle. When paper investments do poorly for several years and money is cheap, the land speculators show up on the prairie offering silly prices for farm or ranch land.

It is happening now. Those of us who make a living off the land know that paying twenty or thirty times the annual return on capital for land is not sustainable.

These "false" prices drive up land costs for new farmers and ranchers and increase taxes for others. The legislature (with some success) has tried many times and in many ways to lessen the tax impact of speculative buying.

It is a real shocker to some of these buyers when they visit a place that's "not for sale". Some people think everything is for sale if the price is outrageous enough. It might go like this…

"Sir, I represent a group that is interested in buying your place. I would like to come in and discuss it with you if I could," said the agent.

"You are welcome to come in for coffee if you want, but my place ain't for sale," the rancher replied.

"I understand that you have not thought about selling, but haven't you ever thought about all the things you could do for your family and places you could go if you were rich?"

"Nope!"

"But you could have anything you wanted."

"I've already got that."

"But you could do anything you wanted to do."

"I'm doing that."

"But you could live in any style that you wanted to live."

"I'm doing that too."

"But you could live any place in the world you wanted to live."

"I'm already here.

Look here son! You need to figure out there are two kinds of landowners. There's one group that owns land, and a second group that are of the land.

That second group can't sell the land. The land owns them."

Larry Gabriel is the South Dakota Secretary of Agriculture

I welcome submissions for this feature of The Westerner.

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