SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE WESTERNER

You know you are a county fair mom when…

By Julie Carter

The glue that holds together every family participating in a county fair is typically and unequivocally the person known as “mom.”

During the days prior to the fair, Mom is charged with a long list of assorted responsibilities that must be completed before the family ever pulls out of the drive way headed to the fair grounds.

Usually at the top of that list are food, shelter and clothing. It will be she who gets the camp trailer ready for a week’s invasion. From blankets to baloney, it is Mom who must prepare the mobile castle with all the comforts of home.

That of course requires endless planning lists of shopping, cooking, and packing. Buy it, bring it home, cook it up, load it in the trailer and then try to be kind when the family insists on eating three squares at the concession stand.

On most occasions Mom is also an additional stable hand. She will be washing pigs while the child is walking goats. Dad will be clipping lambs while Mom is making a mad dash to the grocery store for forgotten ingredients needed for the contest cake to be baked the very same day the pigs are due in the show ring.

As kinfolk and town folk wander into the show barn, it is not hard to tell the “fair mom’s” from the visitors.

You know you are county fair mom when:

--For two weeks before the fair tempers flare and everyone is sniping at each other but mostly at Mom. After all, it’s her fault they have to get things done on time.

--Every night you talk about pigs in your sleep. Once at the fair, you are so exhausted but can’t sleep or even dream about pigs.

--For three days you have washed and ironed a weeks worth of clothes for the entire family. The family arrives looking starched and pristine while you are at the fair with no make up, wearing the same clothes you have had on for two days and flat hair.

--You finally arrive at the fair grounds intact with the entire family, four pigs, two lambs, a goat and a camp trailer only to realize two of your daughter’s novice 4-H projects didn’t make the trip. And it’s too late to go back and get them.

--You find yourself working up a sweat and getting no respect for the hard work it is to give orders all day to a family that is never listening. Others will recognize you as the woman at the edge of the show ring holding a halter, bucket, brush, blow dryer, clippers, spray bottle and can of Show Sheen.

--When you don’t care who sees you grab your child by the ear and drag him across the fairgrounds while giving him a tongue lashing. Any one foolish enough to comment gets the “Mom look” that says “You want some of this?”

--You are always the one who last had whatever it is they can’t find. Four days into the fair and couples are rarely seen speaking to each other and then only with a hint of civility. This wonderful family event has about broken the need for togetherness for a season.

--Your schedule for buying new footwear for the entire family is always after the fair knowing that any shoe that comes to the fair will be full of pig stuff, mud and carry an eternal odor.

--By the end of the week when the family loads up to go home, no one is speaking to anyone. But everyone will weakly wave and say “See ya next year!”


Julie can be reached for comment right after she gets home from the fair at jcarter@tularosa.net

© Julie Carter 2005

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A husband had just finished reading the new Promise Keepers book, 'MAN OF THE HOUSE'.

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law!

I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward.

Then, after dinner, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax.

And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and
comb my hair?"

His wife replied, "The damned funeral director would be my guess."

I welcome submissions for this feature.

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