SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE WESTERNER

When the cowboy was sent to China

By Julie Carter

Everybody in the world knows that cowboys settled, civilized, and developed the west as we know it today.

Right after the dust settled in Dodge City, they went about their business of planning out vast cattle ranches, the petroleum industry, the space headquarters, top ten ranking U.S. cities that are still called “cowtowns,” invented rodeo and of course, were the draw to gather the prettiest girls in the world.

They gave clever names to every inhabited spot on the trail never knowing how handy that name might be to future generations.

Our cowboy in this story was young and single and while having a reputation of sharing his talents with various girls in the area had fallen into a routine with one particularly pretty one. He worked by day for a big diversified cattle outfit whose operation ranged from buying, back grounding and trucking to pasture cattle and feedlots.

The cowboy and the little pretty would go together to dances, calf fries, and an assortment of ropings. He was fine with the arrangement and his job left him limited time to shop around anyway. He didn’t give it much thought other than from time to time he would notice a dangerous gleam in her eye.

Ignoring the warning signs, he rocked along until one day he came home to find she had actually cleaned his house. His saddle no longer resided on the living room floor. Gone were his extra headstalls, bits, boots, leggings and spurs. She actually had them hidden in a closet!

The clincher to the deal was all the candles and little dishes of potpourri she scattered around here and there. No self respecting cowboy could allow such things. The next day he took the boss aside and explained the situation. The boss, being male and having been single at one time understood the immediate need and supplied the solution.

Being basically a gentleman and blessing his ancestors for their foresight in giving names to towns like Palestine, Iran, Germany etc., the cowboy told the girl that his job was going to require him to be sent to China for an undetermined length of time.

This poor geographically challenged girl was not aware that the China currently referred to was located on the Louisiana border of Texas. Nor was she aware that the undetermined length of time was between three and five days. She evaluated the situation from her perspective and decided not to wait for him to get back.

The cowboy denies that the girl was the reason he was sent to China but he did go thinking it was a big company promotion. He had visions of rolling into town in one of the big company cars, carrying a big company checkbook, giving the hired help directions while sitting down to write the check and then coming on home.

What really happened was his boss told him to get his backside in one of the cattle trucks headed that way. He utilized the sleeper in the truck for most the trip and they rolled into China just before daylight.

The man in charge of the cattle operation in China met the cowboy at the truck and said, “You see that gray horse over there?”

“Yes sir,” said the sleepy cowboy.

“See that saddle in the tree?” said the cowman.

“Yes sir,” parroted the cowboy.

“Well get them together and get your butt on them.”

The cowboy was the only help for a four-day gather and pairing-up deal as well loading them on the trucks to ship out of there. At night the man along with his three pretty daughters would sit around playing IQ games. The cowboy lost out on both counts.

I’m sure there is a moral to this story but it would do no good to figure it out. They’ll always be another pretty potpourri toting girl and therefore another cowboy looking for a job in China.

Julie can be reached for comment at jcarter@tularosa.net

© Julie Carter 2005

I welcome submissions for this feature of The Westerner.

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