SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE WESTERNER

Aging gradually but not so gracefully

By Julie Carter

Every single one of you that is reading this has a birthday. A given fact.

Accepting that fact is step number six of my 11 steps on aging gracefully. It reads “Accept some realities.” My reality is I had a birthday and I plan on having just as many more as I can.

A look at the birthday cards I received is a clue that others either notice the aging or my friends are getting more ruthless. With humor these cards give a long list, at least 25 ways, to know if you are getting older.

You know you’re getting older when….

Everything hurts and what doesn’t, doesn’t work.

Your knees buckle and your belt won’t.

You can only burn the midnight oil until nine o’clock.

Your back goes out more often than you do.

You start thinking Sarasota, Florida is a lot more cutting edge than most people give it credit for.

Conversations with people your age often turn into “dueling ailments.”

Most of your co-workers were born the year you got your last promotion.

Cards like that used to be, in my mind, tasteless and insensitive. Now they make me laugh and leave me with diabolical thoughts of who I will send one to next.

When you look at what the world sees as “aging gracefully” words like dignity, self-confidence, quality of life, personal growth are used repeatedly. Following is usually another list that includes terminology such as psychological challenges, physical fitness, retirement, senior discounts, antioxidants, proper sleep, caregivers and laxatives.

One article proclaimed the secret to the “art of aging gracefully.” I thought, oh it is now an art is it? But then that turned out to be about how to properly age wine.

Here are the eleven tips on successful aging, gracefully or not, I believe to be sound advice.

--Balance the focuses in your life. Too much or not enough has a middle road.
Develop a positive mindset. Successful aging means we see the opportunities in life rather than life lost.
--Develop relationships. Invest in friendships and caring for others in demonstrable ways.
--Learn something new all the time. Contrary to what you would like us to believe, you don’t know everything.
--Become a mentor. Share your many experiences, both positive and negative, with someone who can benefit from them
--Accept some realities. These include things you can control like diet and lifestyle choices. They also should include those things you have no control over but spend an inordinate amount of time trying to control.
--Be creative. Paint that picture, write that book or simply call someone you love and tell them a story you want someone to remember.
--Play. We aren’t kids any more but we still need to play, have fun and find the laughter we once knew.
--Get physical. Everyone needs physical activity, regardless of age and physical limitations. Jumping to conclusions and losing your mind does not qualify.
--Learn from the past without dwelling on it. Mistakes are human but become tragic when we fail to learn from them and when we relive them constantly. Learn the lesson and move on.
--Walk daily with God. Daily spiritual development is a lifelong process with an out of this world retirement plan. Stay signed up.

While graceful may not be properly descriptive of aging in my life, gradual is a perfect word. Gradually, one year at a time, I will age. Just like the rest of you.

© Julie Carter 2005

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