Among the many things I enjoy about
raising animals is watching their interpersonal relationships. If there
was such a thing, I think I'd have made a very good cow, sheep, pig or
horse psychologist. Wisely, I considered their ability to pay and became
a writer instead, which pays only slightly better than a tightwad hog
would.
Here are some observations I've made over a lifetime of studying farm animals.
Horses are high society. They consider
themselves better looking than the sheep, smarter than the cow and
higher class than hogs. They'll use human males and allow them to ride
on their backs so they can buck their way into the Hall of Fame, or win
the race for the roses at the Kentucky Derby. If they get tired of men,
as they often do, they just put them in their place: on the ground.
Horses absolutely love the human female gender and vice versa. Women and
horses are BFF and the love affair between them is a beautiful thing to
behold.
Horses think they're far superior to
cows, don't care much for sheep and absolutely hate poultry. The only
time my horse Gentleman did not act like one was when I rode him behind
the shop where we had just finished killing some chickens the day
before. I won't say that Gentleman actually bucked, he never had that
much energy, but he almost crow-hopped a little.
Horses set a wonderful example for their
barnyard brethren to follow if only the others were that smart. In fly
season you'll see two horses head to tail, swatting flies off each
other. When was the last time you saw two hogs doing that? Granted, that
might look a little silly considering the fly-swatting ability of a
pig's tail.
...Cattle don't recognize swine or cowboys as members of the animal kingdom
and will only suffer sheep as long as they don't eat the same grass
they do. Despite their place in life, cows can be very snooty with the
black hided ones thinking they're far superior to the reds, and the
registered cattle lording it over the more commercial grade. Cows enjoy
keeping company with other equally worthy cows but their boorish
behavior can border on bigotry. Take the relationship that exists
between beef and dairy cows for example. Beefier cows take one look at
dairy cows and think, "Just look at those stupid ninnies, gathering
themselves up so that some jerk with rough hands can yank on their
udders two to three times day." Or, "What a pitiful example of a cow,
being bred by an AI technician instead of a real bull!"
Hogs are the rich uncle who shows up at the family reunion driving a
brand new Bentley with a much younger gilt for a girlfriend. Secretly,
other animals are jealous of the hogs because they have their food
delivered to them and they don't have to suffer from wolves or PBR
cowboys...
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