It's The Pitts: With Gavel They Travel

Lee Pitts

There are two two things I don’t know for sure about auctioneers: I can’t pin down exactly why they are called “Colonels” and I don’t know where the tradition started that they use gavels. Whoever that first hammerhead was I’d like to kill him. You see, I’m gradually going deaf and it’s not because I’ve been married for 36 years but because of the auctioneer’s incessant hammering with their gavels. Rat-a-tat-tat, they sound like some woodpecker on steroids. It’s enough to drive a person crazy. And in my case, the damage appears to be irreversible.

In many ways auctioneers are like rock stars. They are both high maintenance celebrities and they both perform to a beat. The rockers keep their beat with drums and guitars while the auctioneers use a gavel. While car auctioneers at the big Barrett Jackson auto auctions use a gavel the size of a small sledge hammer, art auctioneers at Sotheby's and Christie's usually use a petite round chunk of wood. I’ve seen auctioneers use everything from a Copenhagen can to a two-by-four and I even saw my friend Butch Booker use a ball peen hammer one time at a farm sale. The spoon makes a good gavel unless it is in the hands of Rick Machado who is so rough on the silverware that he can go through an entire service for 16 during one sale. With the silverware often flying out of his hand we have tried to keep the knives and forks away from him. But then he starts borrowing pocket knives, which can be even more lethal.

Some auctioneers have told me they use a gavel to point to the bidders in the crowd because pointing at them with your hand would be rude. But I hardly see how threatening them with a hammer can be considered more polite.

My good friend and one of the best auctioneers of all time, Skinner Hardy, used a gavel like an orchestra conductor. He kept a better beat than a bass drum, which I think is why I am deaf! I also traveled with Stanley Stout quite a bit and besides using his gavel to sell cattle he used his to break car windshields, open beer bottles, defend himself and otherwise wreak general havoc. Some other great auctioneers I’ve worked with, men like Pat Goggins, John Rodgers, his brother Eddie and the late great Ken Troutt, were never known as big bangers and yet they had some of the sweetest sounding singsong chants ever heard, proving that you don’t need a gavel to be good.

In the prehistoric past, before computers, auction clerks hated to work with auctioneers who used gavels. Have you ever tried to write while the table you were writing on was bouncing up and down? Even after they started using computers the gavel men were still a major headache. One time during a video auction I was reading the descriptions off a computer monitor when all of a sudden it dropped off the table, crashing to the ground. It had gradually been edging towards the edge with each pounding of the auctioneer’s gavel but we’d all failed to notice it.

Most gavel men have a favorite hammer that they use and, despite the strong attachment they feel towards their gavel, they are always leaving them behind. I have returned no less than a dozen gavels over the years to auctioneers who left them on the auction block. (As I was writing that sentence I realized what an idiot I’ve been. I still might have partial hearing if I’d have just burned them for firewood.)

These days the airlines confiscate gavels because they could be weapons in the hands of terrorists which, when you think about it, accurately describes an auctioneer’s gavel. Before they were considered terrorist tools, I was traveling with a Colonel who, when he got his coat out of the overhead compartment, dropped his gavel in the aisle. The attendant picked it up and, mistaking him for a traveling Judge, said with a twinkle in her eye, “Here’s your gavel your Honor.”

Never in the history of all mankind has anyone ever been more mistaken!

Song Of The Day #199

Our Gospel song this Monday morning is Pray by Hank Snow.

Homeland Security Embarks on Programs to Read Our Minds and Emotions

This past February, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) awarded a one-year, $2.6 million grant to the Cambridge, MA.-based Charles Stark Draper Laboratory to develop computerized sensors capable of detecting a person's level of "malintent" -- or intention to do harm. It's only the most recent of numerous contracts awarded to Draper and assorted research outfits by the U.S. government over the past few years under the auspices of a project called "Future Attribute Screening Technologies," or FAST. It's the next wave of behavior surveillance from DHS and taxpayers have paid some $20 million on it so far. Conceived as a cutting-edge counter-terrorism tool, the FAST program will ostensibly detect subjects' bad intentions by monitoring their physiological characteristics, particularly those associated with fear and anxiety. It's part of a broader "initiative to develop innovative, non-invasive technologies to screen people at security checkpoints," according to DHS. The "non-invasive" claim might be a bit of a stretch. A DHS report issued last December outlined some of the possible technological features of FAST, which include "a remote cardiovascular and respiratory sensor" to measure "heart rate, heart rate variability, respiration rate, and respiratory sinus arrhythmia," a "remote eye tracker" that "uses a camera and processing software to track the position and gaze of the eyes (and, in some instances, the entire head)," "thermal cameras that provide detailed information on the changes in the thermal properties of the skin in the face," and "a high resolution video that allows for highly detailed images of the face and body … and an audio system for analyzing human voice for pitch change."...read more

Massive TSA Security Breach As Agency Gives Away Its Secrets

In a massive security breach, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) inadvertently posted online its airport screening procedures manual, including some of the most closely guarded secrets regarding special rules for diplomats and CIA and law enforcement officers. The most sensitive parts of the 93-page Standard Operating Procedures manual were apparently redacted in a way that computer savvy individuals easily overcame. The document shows sample CIA, Congressional and law enforcement credentials which experts say would make it easy for terrorists to duplicate. The improperly redacted areas indicate that only 20 percent of checked bags are to be hand searched for explosives and reveal in detail the limitations of x-ray screening machines. "This is an appalling and astounding breach of security that terrorists could easily exploit," said Clark Kent Ervin, the former inspector general at the Department of Homeland Security...read more

Privacy group challenges phone companies’ wiretapping immunity

A US privacy group is appealing against the legal protection of telecom companies that participated in a wiretapping program during the presidency of George W. Bush. The Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) is appealing, on behalf of several plaintiffs, a June federal court decision that upheld legislation that protects the companies, who acted without court authorization, from being prosecuted. The 2008 law was approved by Congress at the urging of the Bush administration, which sought help from the companies to wiretap terror suspects under a program established in the wake of the September 11, 2001 attacks. EFF argues that the legislation is "unconstitutional" because it grants "the attorney general the unconstrained power to decide whether to nullify existing federal and state law governing these actions."...read more

Drone aircraft will patrol drug trafficking routes at sea

The federal government today unveiled an unmanned aerial aircraft that will be used to patrol drug trafficking routes at sea, marking an expansion of predator drone flights by the Department of Homeland Security. Predator drone aircraft have patrolled the Canadian and Arizona-Mexico border areas for years. The new, modified aircraft, built by Poway-based General Atomics Aeronautical Systems, is equipped with radar for spotting maritime vessels. The drone, which will be operated from Cape Canaveral Air Force Base in Florida, will begin a test phase next year in the Gulf of Mexico and the Caribbean, authorities said. There are no plans in the near future to deploy the aircraft to the California-Mexico border, said Juan A. Munoz Torres, a spokesman for Customs and Border Protection...read more

Miranda rights warning could get rewrite

The Supreme Court on Monday seemed headed toward telling police they must explicitly advise criminal suspects that their lawyer can be present during any interrogation. The arguments in front of the justices were the latest over how explicit the Miranda warning rights have to be, as justices debated whether the warnings police gave Kevin Dwayne Powell made clear to him that he could have a lawyer present while being interrogated by police...read more

D.C. Court Ruling Could Affect Out-Of-State Gun Buying

You can buy a car from an out-of-state dealer and pick it up there. You can buy a house in another part of the country, as speculators unwisely did during the real estate bubble, sight unseen. But even though the Second Amendment protects an individual right to own firearms -- and presumably to buy them -- you can't purchase a handgun while you're visiting another state. A gun rights group has sued the Justice Department to overturn this prohibition, which became law as part of the Gun Control Act of 1968, and the case is now in front of U.S. District Judge James Robertson in Washington, D.C. Narrowly speaking, the Second Amendment Foundation has filed the Hodgkins v. Holder suit on behalf of American citizens who live abroad and would like to buy firearms when they return for a visit (but can't because Form 4473 requires them to list what U.S. state they live in). More broadly, it could restore Americans' right to buy handguns while traveling across state lines as long as they undergo the normal federal background check...read more

NY Court Halts Columbia University's Eminent Domain Abuse

New York’s Supreme Court Appellate Division (First Department) handed down a massive victory for property rights yesterday in the case of Kaur v. New York State Urban Development Corporation. At issue was the state’s highly controversial use of eminent domain on behalf of Columbia University, which wants free rein over the West Harlem neighborhood of Manhattanville, where it plans to build a fancy new research campus. As I discussed in an article last February, there is overwhelming evidence that the Empire State Development Corporation (ESDC) actively colluded with Columbia in order to produce the very conditions that would then allow ESDC to seize property on the university’s behalf. At the time of ESDC’s 2006 blight study, for instance, Columbia owned 76 percent of the neighborhood and was thus directly responsible for the overwhelming majority of blight that the report alleged, ranging from overflowing basement trash heaps to major roof and skylight leaks. As numerous tenants have reported, the university refused to perform basic and necessary repairs, which both pushed tenants out and manufactured the ugly conditions that later advanced Columbia's long-term interests. Preliminary findings delivered to the ESDC admitted as much, noting "Open violations in CU Buildings" and "History of CU repairs to properties" among the "issues of concern." Thankfully, the New York court recognized this shameful mess for what it is: eminent domain abuse. As Justice James Catterson wrote for the majority: the blight designation in the instant case is mere sophistry. It was utilized by ESDC years after the scheme was hatched to justify the employment of eminent domain but this project has always primarily concerned a massive capital project for Columbia. Indeed, it is nothing more than economic redevelopment wearing a different face.

Nice victory, but it makes you stop and think about property. The ESDC wouldn't dare discriminate or harm these individuals in their employment practices, nor would Columbia in their admissions policy. Yet they both could escape the barking of the liberal hyenas when they conspired to deprive these people of their property. It's a sorry state of affairs when property is held in such low regard.

Pinon ban

THE BAN on Army expenditures for expansion of the Pinon Canyon Maneuver Site appears safely ensconced in the 2010 omnibus federal budget bill that Senate and House negotiators have agreed upon. The ban originally was sponsored by Reps. John Salazar and Marilyn Musgrave two years ago. Since then, Rep. Musgrave’s successor, Betsy Markey, has worked to see the ban extended, and Sens. Mark Udall and Michael Bennet have given their support as well. Both senators have noted publicly that the Army has failed thus far to make a persuasive case for acquiring more land around the maneuver site which sits between Trinidad and La Junta. The site is included in Rep. Salazar’s congressional district. We concur with the senators’ assessment of the Army’s plans. It is apparent that the Army believed it could come in and do whatever it wanted to do, apparently forgetting that it had made previous promises to the communities in Southeastern Colorado when it first acquired the current property. The Army had pledged to do business in Trinidad and La Junta, but that pledge proved to be hollow. Now, if it were to make a significant expansion of the Pinon Canyon site, it would cause a severe erosion of the region’s economy. We commend Reps. Salazar and Markey and Sens. Udall and Bennet for their support of the agriculture and the communities of Southeastern Colorado...Pueblo Chieftain

Scientists: Killing 1 Owl May Save Another

Scientists want to determine if killing the aggressive barred owl that has invaded old growth forests of the Northwest would help the protected spotted owl. Federal biologists are doing a formal study to decide whether to do the experiment, and laying out the terms if they go ahead. The study will be available for public comment and is expected to be completed by fall 2010. "This is to be done experimentally so we can nail down whether, in fact, removing barred owls could improve spotted owl demographics, and also to look into the feasibility of doing that," Fish and Wildlife biologist Robin Bown, who is overseeing the evaluation, said Wednesday. He said a small-scale experiment with killing barred owls in northern California in 2005 created an uproar, so Fish and Wildlife held meetings with interest groups to consider the ethical and moral implications of a larger experiment, and secured their agreement to look into an experiment. "There is a range of opinions" among scientists and interest groups, said Bob Sallinger, conservation director of the Portland Audubon Society, who took part in the ethical discussion. "We are still struggling with where we come down."...read more

What to do, what to do? Which owl shall live and which shall die? King Solomon has been replaced by the FWS.

Company: Cobalt mining in Idaho to start in 2011

Mining for cobalt — an element used in hybrid car batteries and jet engines — could get under way in the central Idaho mountains in 2011, after a Canadian company said it won initial federal approval for the plan. Formation Metals Inc. said Wednesday that winning the U.S. Forest Service's blessing for the first stage of its operations plan means workers can log the mining site and build roads in January. Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Mari-Ann Green said the Vancouver-based company aims to supply as many as 1,600 tons annually of 99.9 percent-pure cobalt to companies like United Technologies Corp.'s Pratt and Whitney unit, Rolls Royce Group Plc and Portland, Ore.-based Precision Castparts Corp. Cobalt is used in jet engines, hybrid vehicle batteries, prosthetic knees and hips, even radio frequency identification tags that help retailers including Wal-Mart Stores Inc. track their products. Mining is due to start in Salmon-Challis National Forest, about 200 miles northeast of Boise, in 2011 and could continue for 30 years, the company said...read more

History proves ranchers, BLM have nurtured the Breaks

With that in mind, there has to be a reason that an area as large as this is still intact. The reason is that ranchers and the BLM have taken care of the land and used this area in a responsible manner, sustaining it for future generations. As far as cattle marring the landscape, I have never seen a cow carve its name or eartag number in the sandstone next to historic artifacts, leave trash behind, or make a straight trail up a steep incline so that rain and run-off water can cause an erosion problem. However, I have seen several names of people carved into the precious sandstone near historic pictographs and I've seen a trail to the Hole in the Wall that goes straight uphill and can be seen for a half-mile or so. The cattle have been getting a bad rap for years and it is time to lay the responsibility where it belongs: People are more destructive than any creature on this earth. In fact, stunted growth of cottonwood trees — a claim made in the lawsuit — can be attributed to people. It is the presence of multiple flow-regulating dams along the Missouri River, not cows, that limits new cottonwood growth...read more

Forest Service signs "confusing", nude bathers cited, "soak-in" planned

A confusing sign is coming down after a group of people were cited for skinny dipping at a hot springs in Utah County. The Deseret News reports Utah County sheriff's deputies cited eight adults for lewdness at Diamond Fork Springs in the Uinta-Wasatch-Cache National Forest on an October evening just before midnight. A spokeswoman with the Uinta-Wasatch-Cache National Forest, Lorraine Januzelli, says a sign posted near the springs warns bathers to be mindful of families and implies nudity at the springs is not illegal. Januzelli tells the Deseret News the forest service will take down the sign because it is causing confusion. Some naturists are angry about the incident and tell the newspaper they tentatively plan a "soak-in" to protest...read more

Most everything the Forest Service does is "confusing".

Trio sentenced to 36 years in federal prison

A trio of McCreary County men will serve a combined 36 years in federal prison for conspiring to produce methamphetamine. The charges stem from an investigation by the Kentucky State Police and McCreary County Sheriff’s Department which led to the trio’s arrests on August 12, 2008. Assisting in the investigation were the United States Forest Service and the Lake Cumberland Area Drug Task Force...read more

Remembe this the next time the FS claims they don't have enough money to police the federal lands.

Cattle mutilations in Colorado - a Rocky Mountain mystery + video

The bodies are horribly mutilated as if with surgical precision - eyes removed, innards gone, the skin grotesquely peeled away. The predator, or predators, have left no footprints to reveal their identities and no blood stains on the earth to speak to the slaughter. Their gory souvenirs vanish with them. There have been eight such mutilations in Colorado this year, all with the same baffling lack of evidence. And while Colorado has been the focus of current activity, this strange phenomenon has appeared in just about every Midwestern state. Last year it was Missouri, before that Nebraska and South Dakota. Reports of similar activity have come from as far away as Switzerland. But Colorado seems to have a special affinity for these strange events. What is widely considered the very first animal mutilation of the modern era - the strange killing of a horse known as Snippy - occurred in Colorado in 1967. Snippy's strange death set the pattern for more recent mutilations and, oddly, her bones eventually ended up on eBay...read more

Here's a video of rancher Manuel Sanchez telling his story.

Giant iceberg heading for Australia

A giant iceberg double the size of Sydney Harbour is on a slow but steady collision course with Australia, scientists have said. The mammoth chunk of ice, which measures 12 miles long and five miles wide, was spotted floating surprisingly close to the mainland by scientists at the Australian Antarctic Division (ADD). Known as B17B, it is currently drifting 1,000 miles from Australia's west coast and is moving gradually north with the ocean current and prevailing wind. Dr Neal Young, a glaciologist working for the ADD, said that if the iceberg eventually reached Australia waters, it would crash into the continental shelf causing a magnitude three to to four tremor. However, Dr Young said the iceberg was unlikely to hit the Australian mainland. If it continued on its path north, it would eventually break up into hundreds of smaller icebergs, he said...read more

Cattle producing Argentina could face beef imports

Argentina, a nation that prides itself on having more cattle than people, may soon be forced to import beef to keep its meat-loving citizens happy at the dinner table. Intense government efforts to keep meat affordable through taxes, export restrictions and price controls have enabled Argentines to eat record amounts of beef this year, but the short-term bonanza has come at a very steep cost. With little or no profit left in meat, ranchers are selling out, slaughtering even the female cows needed to maintain their herds...read more

Bolivia seizes big ranch from president's opponent

The government has seized a 12,500-hectare (48-square-mile) ranch in Bolivia's eastern lowlands from a soybean magnate who is among the chief political rivals of just re-elected President Evo Morales. The confiscation announced Thursday was the first by Morales' government as it seeks to wrest fallow farmland from big landholders and "restore" it to members of the South American country's long-suppressed Indian majority. Wednesday's seizure, part of what the government calls an agrarian revolution, came three days after Morales' landslide re-election. Unofficial results said he got 63 percent of the votes Sunday, compared to 27 percent for his nearest challenger. The Yasminka ranch taken from Branko Marinkovic will be given to the Guarayo Indians, the deputy land minister, Alejandro Almaraz, said at a news conference. Almaraz led 20 police officers onto Yasminka to enforce a ruling Friday by the National Agrarian Tribunal affirming the government's claim that the land was fraudulently obtained from the Guarayo...read more

Raw deal? Woman charged over steak attack

A Florida woman has been arrested after allegedly hitting her boyfriend in the head with a raw steak. According to a Marion County Sheriff's Office report, the man told deputies Elsie Egan repeatedly hit him with the uncooked meat and slapped his face after he refused a piece of sliced bread. The man said he wanted a bread roll. Egan, 53, denied hitting the man with the steak but did admit to slapping him, saying she did it "so that he could learn."...read more

Depending on how big the steak was, that could damn sure hurt. From now on Sweet Sharon is only getting hamburger.