Sunday, July 28, 2013

Cowgirl Sass & Savvy

Apologize early and often

by Julie Carter

It’s a fact. Some cowboys are smarter than others. Jed just happened to be one of the smarter ones, usually.

He and Sue Ann worked together almost every day on a big ranch. He had figured out that at some point during the day, always, the cattle, horses or hired help would do something that would require him to yell at Sue Ann.

You see, a cowboy has this tendency to bark orders or a correction at his wife so that the people nearby that really need to hear it won't be offended but will still become informed.

Sue Ann's historical reaction to this tactic wasn't something Jed recalled with pleasantries. In view of the fact that most days she was the best help he had, he considered several of his options for minimizing the effect of his methods.

One morning at breakfast he decided to "pre-apologize" for any mistakes he might make during the day.
This early request for forgiveness would cover almost everything and save time during the working day. It also allowed him to be comfortable in his recliner at day's end while she fixed supper instead of using that time to soothe her ruffled feathers at the saddle house.

What goes up must come down is not a solid physics theory when it comes to cattle, and especially yearlings. Once started in a determined direction at a speed commensurate to the run of a scalded cat, nothing short of a thunderbolt will stop the stampede.

Give those same cattle a hill or mountain to climb and they'll find the top and take up permanent residence without any intention of coming back down unless, first, it becomes their idea.

Once it is their plan, especially if you get a bunch of them gathered up on the top of the hill and pointed downward, refer to the previous paragraph and thunderbolt theory.

On this particular fall morning, Jed, Sue Ann and some hired help had started moving the cattle from the high country to shipping pastures at lower elevations.  They worked their way up the mountain trail to get above the cattle.

Yearlings can be pretty snakey in the brush. They have been known to sneak around behind the riders or even end up on the side of a cliff-like place where the only method to get them to move is the very un-cowboy method of throwing rocks at them. That is one of those cowboy skills you don't hear discussed much.

When a sizeable bunch had been collected to a clearing, the hands started moving the cattle down a steep ridge top complete with an abundance of rocks and deadfall. Sue Ann was riding point to the left front of the herd, charged with keeping them headed in the right direction.

As will happen, something that nobody but the cattle saw or heard spooked them and the race was on. At a dead run downhill they raced but, of course, not in any direction they should be going.

Sue Ann jumped up in the front of her saddle and rode hell-bent-for- leather through the treacherous steep terrain trying to head off the cattle. In an effort to not kill herself or her horse in the rescue, she did have to pull up in a few places and select a less lethal path through a natural gauntlet of dangers.

Finally, somewhat further down the hill than Jed had planned, everything came to a halt.

Jed, already calculating the pounds and dollars that had just been run off the cattle, simply couldn't help himself even when he knew better.

Unwisely, he rode over to Sue Ann and asked her, loud enough the cowboys he meant it for could hear, why she let the cattle run like that and why she didn't get them stopped sooner.

Calculating the cost of his own funeral pre-empted any cattle market numbers jumbling around in his head. It was good thinking on his part that he had already implemented his pre-apology plan that day.

Julie can be reached for comment at jcarternm@gmail.com




No comments: