The Wall Street cowboy

By Julie Carter

Cowboys are philosophers. Even Gus and Woodrow of Lonesome Dove fame were known to "talk a little philosophy" from time to time.

Maybe it's the solitary work days and time they have to think things over. The more serious ones are planners. NASA can get a space shuttle launched with less planning than many ranchers put forth before a big spring branding.

When Rocky's dad called him home from the feedlot, the news was bad and good. The bad news floored Rocky. Dad had sold the ranch. The good news had the same effect - Rocky now had a pile of money.

Rocky understood almost all aspects of the cattle business, but that association didn't often leave him with many dollars to tend. He decided to talk with his good friend, Tex, who was also sometimes his roping partner, a top hand, good cattle manager, good money manager and an ace horse trader.

Tex took a deep seat on the porch and prepared to share his philosophy on money.

"You want to know what an asset manager is?" Tex began. "Remember when we were rodeoing and Wes always held our entry fees and gas money so we didn't spend it foolishly? Wes was our asset manager."

"What's a mutual fund?" continued Tex. "You remember when you, Wes, and I partnered on that bunch of colts? We each had a set to break then we were going to sell them all together. We knew that if one colt turned out to be an outlaw and we lost money on him, likely one of the others would be a little extra special and would sell for more than average and it would balance out the loss. That's a mutual fund."

Tex recalled that Wes again handled the money - dealing with the bank and brokering the sale of the colts. "That made him the fund manager," he said. "He got a little extra off the top for handling the paperwork."

"And a bond," explained Tex, "ain't nothing more than a loan. I could loan you some money, you would give me an I.O.U. that said you would pay me back at some certain time, plus interest. You would pay me a little bit along the way so I could keep up with my bills and then pay it all at the end of our deal."

Tex gave Rocky a run down of annuities, equities and a number of other financial terms and related it all back to horse trading. He and Rocky decided that Wall Street people must have, at some point, been horse traders, too, and just fancied up their vocabulary for the city folks.

After Rocky felt a little more comfortable about handling his newfound wealth, he and Tex settled back to ponder thoughts about why his dad had sold the ranch.

Although the ranch has always supplied a steady income, some years better than others, it more dependably supplied a steady supply of work.

With his newfound money-planning knowledge, Rocky could already see that the profit margins on some investments were going to far out-distance his former ranch income.

That realization somewhat soothed the sadness for the ever-changing landscape in the world of family ranching.

Besides, Rocky was pretty sure Wall Street could always use another horse trader - one with a direct look and the firm handshake of a cowboy.

© Julie Carter 2007


Is Environmentalism Hazardous To Your Health?

By Frank DuBois

Yes says John Berlau in his new book Eco-Freaks: Environmentalism Is Hazardous To Your Health.

I’m pleased Mr. Berlau’s publisher sent me this book to review. I thought I was pretty well up on the environmental issues we face, but Mr. Berlau has shown me there were many gaps in my self-proclaimed knowledge.

Take DDT for instance. I had no idea this stuff had been around since the 1870’s. Nor was I aware of the important role it had played in protecting our American troops in WWII from malaria and typhus.

In 1943 our troops had a established a beachhead at Salerno in Mussolini’s Italy, but our generals were warned of an outbreak of typhus in Naples. As Mr. Berlau writes:

The lowly typhus-spreading louse had stopped or delayed military advances in previous wars. And the generals know that a typhus epidemic had never been stopped in the dead of winter. Medical professionals had to wait until March or April for the lice to die out.

But the siege of Italy couldn’t wait, so Brig. Gen. Leon Fox set up an ambitious program to put to work America’s new secret agent of life: DDT. As the soldiers entered Naples, the army also brought gallons and gallons of DDT powder. They spray-dusted the streets, buildings, and even the people. Over one million citizens of Naples were dusted in January of 1944. In places like train stations, US troops sprayed DDT on the people of Naples from their shirt collars down to their shoes. Troops would also spray DDT on themselves in Naples and many other places. By mid-February the typhus epidemic was completely licked, saving not only our troops, but millions of Italian citizens as well. Gladwell writes that the Naples dusting ‘sav[ed] countless lives,’…

Mr. Berlau goes on to show how DDT rescued many holocaust survivors, saved habitat for the northern spotted owl and on balance increased the population of many birds.

Similar myth-busting facts and studies are presented in chapters on asbestos, the automobile, forest management, hurricane Katrina and our future under environmentalism.

Mr. Berlau has been a media fellow at the Hoover Institution at Stanford University and in 2002 was awarded the Sandy Hume Memorial Award for Excellence in Political Journalism by the National Press Club. This book is well-written and well-documented and should be read by all interested in environmental issues.

Now we just need someone with Mr. Berlau’s talent to educate the public on livestock grazing, wilderness, endangered species and clean air and water.