Sally is a good ole girl
Cowgirl Sass And Savvy

By Julie Carter

Cowboying isn't just about riding a horse, swinging a rope or looking fine in Cinch jeans and a new George Strait straw hat

Sally is a good ole girl. She's the kind you just like having around. Besides being beautiful, she is fun, rides well, and can sometimes catch both feet. She is also a favorite heeler for a number of headers in the team roping game because of those attributes.

She has an honest job and a little acreage of good grass for her practice cattle. Roping is her hobby and her cattle business has always been limited to however many cattle she needed for practice.
Last week, she was one head short when she did a cursory count of her holdings. She rode all the fences, rode the neighbors' country, called around and then finally rode her grassland again. All this handled on her high-dollar blue roan heeling horse.

She finally found the heifer hiding in an grove of oaks, head down and slobbering.

Any cowboy would have immediately diagnosed this condition as the ingestion of some weed that gave her a bellyache, put her in the pen, given her some hay and wished her well.

Sally hit the panic button. She called her favorite vet, a fun-spirited guy, who told her to give the heifer 30 cc of penicillin.

His phone diagnosis was that she probably had rabies and would be dead within the week and then they could send her head to the vet college. Additionally, everyone in the family and surrounding country would have to get rabies shots and likely quarantined. Not thinking she would really believe him, he went on his innocent way.

Sally believed him. She went back to the pasture to get the heifer and bring her to the pens but couldn't get her to move. Finally she roped her, thinking this would be incentive to head the right direction. No luck.

She drug the heifer until the roan got tired. Then she tried again to tail her up and then had to drag her a little more. Finally, they got to the pens - the horse, the heifer and Sally were worn smooth out.

At this critical point in exhaustion, Sally's smart 12-year-old son shows up, looks over the situation and falls in with the vet. "Mama, I touched her. I have mad cow disease. I'm going to die."

After 30 cc of penicillin plus 15 cc of B12 just because, Sally had done all she could do for this poor, terminally ill heifer. By morning the medication has worked, the heifer is up, eating and walking the fence. Her neck was a little sore and she had a few grass stains on her sides, but otherwise, her life has been saved.

After such a successful doctoring event, Sally decided to worm all her practice cattle. Counting is also a critical cowboy skill, one that seems to have eluded her.

As she is telling her favorite team roping header about the event, she related that she had brought either 12 or 14 head in from a lease pasture, 7 or 8 from the roping catch pen and another couple from the trap at the house.

She wormed them, gave them all a B12 shot since that worked so good on the heifer and put them all out to winter grass.

As the tale is related, the cowboy listening does the mental math and comes up with 22-24 head of roping cattle, which Sally confirms to be "about right."

Wanting to check the numbers he says, "How many are left in the catch pen?"

She thinks, about 11.

"How many are in the house trap?"

She thinks, about 15.

"How many are in the lease pasture?"

She is sure she took back the ones that were there in the first place and this either 14 or 16.

She is beautiful and she is a good heeler. However, just not everybody is cut out to handle the "cowboy" part of the job.

Visit Julie’s Web site at www.julie-carter.com. She is a new member of Western Writers of America and her book is getting rave review across the West. It is being offered by such prestigious places as the Hubbard Museum of the America West and the National Cowboy Hall of Fame in OKC, Oklahoma.


IF YOU DON’T KNOW POOP

By Welda McKinley Grider

The newest among us ranchers are those who buy a part of the old American West and come out to shoot, root and toot on their own piece of Glory in a subdivision. I’ve had many amusing stories about the “new ones”. The one who thought a bull had a belly ache cuz he was bellering, the one who thought the calf couldn’t get milk because he was nudging his mother in the belly but a couple of weeks ago….I got one that takes the cake or the pie in this instance (as in cow pie).

The gal who called me is one of the most intelligent people I’ve met and retired from a very prestigious job. She has come to our area and has fit in very well.

But she called and said some of our cattle “broke into her house”. Damaged a door and some stuff. We didn’t deny this could happen but cattle seldom will get on a porch and hang out if the house is occupied. But as any rancher knows….it could happen. Cows are known for eating electric wire off trailers and various other obnoxious things so it could happen.

She called back and wondered if it might have been horses? I said that makes better sense to me. Horses, certainly pet horses have no qualms about porches and the people who might live there.

She asked if I could tell by the poop? I said certainly. She said well I swept off the porch so it’s lost its integrity. I grinned to myself. I had never heard poop had “integrity” much less “lost integrity”.

I went to her house and on the way to the door could tell by the tracks it was horses. At least two horses, one shod and one not. I could easily tell the poop was horse droppings.

I showed her the tracks and how they differ from cow tracks. I said this is horse manure by the way it’s made. We didn’t have to go far out in the pasture to find a dried up cow patty and then as luck would have it I showed her where a bull had passed. She asked how I could tell bull manure from cow manure? I said something BAD happens in a bull digestive track and the end result is usually propelled out.

I explained horse poop is hard and round. Cow pop is usually wet and flat. I said you obviously don’t know poop. She had to agree. I said from now on – in meetings when you talk, I can honestly say she doesn’t know poop – don’t listen to her. I found it amusing that with her level of education and my lack thereof – I was educating her in poop. I asked her if she wanted to know the moral of this little story?

If you don’t know poop, don’t talk poop.

A pretty good moral for all of us to live by.

Welda McKinley Grider – local rancher who knows her poop.


It’s The Pitts: Tool Fool

My name is Lee and I’m a tool-a-holic. I admit it. Going into a tool store for me is like a woman making a pilgrimage to Nordstroms. I belong to the Tool of the Month Club, the Craftsman Club and own gadgets whose purpose is still unknown to me. This more than qualifies me to answer the question... “What does every rancher need in a well stocked tool box?”

First of all, you don’t need a tool box, that is what the bed of the pickup is for. Unless you own a flat bed truck, in which case you are considered upper management and won’t be using tools. For the rest of us, here is a list of the tools of the trade and their intended purpose.

Tape Measure- For social climbing ranchers to wear on their belt when they go to the hardware store in hopes someone will mistake them for a carpenter.

Crescent Wrench- Primary use is for nailing nails, staples and small screws.

Pipe Wrench- For pounding larger screws, lag bolts and spikes. If they still won’t budge, don’t force it, just get a bigger wrench. That’s why they come in all sizes.

Fence Stretcher- On rainy days she can ride in the cab of the truck with you.

Shovel- To lean on as you supervise the fence stretcher.

Claw Hammer- For tightening and splicing barbed wire fence.

Vise Grips- For attaching your truck’s battery cable to the battery.

Level- To settle arguments at the pool hall on whether the table is level or not.

Punch- Will add holes in your belt as you grow older and wider.

Pocket Knife- For whittling, scraping rust, cutting calves or picking teeth when a hoof pick is not available.

Hoof Rasp- A versatile kitchen tool that will peel potatoes, grate cheese and remove baked-on grease.

Paint Brush- I’m told they’re good for dusting furniture.

Hay Hooks- Used to break metal wires on hay bales when wire cutters are someplace you can’t find them. Like, attached to your belt.

Box End Adjustable Wench- The lady at the tool store who won’t extend me any more credit and kicks me out at closing time.

Bald Pein Hammerhead- Her husband.

Bolt Cutters- For opening locks and cutting chain when accidentally locked out.

Horn Scoops- For pruning small shrubbery.

Hack Saw- Will saw horns off cattle if your horn scoops are dull.

Socket Set- For tractor repair and reminding you that you never learned fractions in school.

Hatchet- Alternate tool for working on tractor if you don’t have a socket set.

Allen Wrenches- Wrenches that belonged to your wife’s first husband, Allen.

Digging Bar- A misnomer. Real job is to stop animals from backing up in a chute.

Screw Driver- Good for stirring paint, chiseling or as a small pry bar.

Chisel- Used on screws in place of a screwdriver which probably has wet paint all over it.

Pick Ax- I have no idea what it’s used for and don’t want to find out.

Fence Pliers- For opening bottles and cans.

Extension Cord- To plug in your electric drill. Should be at least a mile long.

Brace and Bit- You’ll need this when the extension cord isn’t long enough and the rechargeable batteries are dead in your portable drill. Which is always.

All In One Tool- Ads on TV claim that this tool will perform all the functions of every tool found in a tool box, allowing you to lose all your tools at one time.

Baling Wire- An acceptable substitute for screws, clamps, bolts and glue.

Duct Tape- Used when baling wire is not available.