Sinned against Earth? Buy an indulgence

In Mediaeval Europe, people who committed sins were required to confess their sins against God and pay some sort of retribution. The Mediaeval European church, having at the time a total monopoly on religion, came up with the idea of (a) declaring virtually every normal human activity a sin (thereby guaranteeing themselves an unlimited supply of sinners) and (b) providing the sinner an escape from purgatory by offering him an indulgence. In the modern world, people who drive SUVs and fly in jet aircraft are browbeaten into confessing their sins against the climate and shamed into paying some sort of retribution. The Climate Change industry, having at this time an almost total monopoly on the "science," came up with the idea of (a) declaring virtually every normal human activity as detrimental to the climate (giving them their guaranteed sinner base) and (b) providing the sinner an escape from purgatory by offering him a carbon offset. At first, the Mediaeval sinner could expiate his sin by doing good works in public like feeding the poor or comforting the sick while the modern sinner could recycle Dixie cups or plant a bush. But, in both cases, this left the ruling classes out of the loop. So the Mediaeval power brokers began selling indulgences, which allowed the Church to do the good acts for them, and today's offset vendors began selling carbon offsets, which allows the corporations to do the good acts for them....