They call him Staten Island Chuck, and he took a nice little chunk out of NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg's finger.
Staten Island Chuck took a nibble out of Mayor Michael Bloomberg's hand during this morning's Groundhog Day festivities at the Staten Island Zoo. "His hand was nicked," a Bloomberg spokesman said. The mayor is up to date on his Tetanus shot, so he simply washed his wounded finger and put on a bandage. [link]
A zoo official, Doug Schwartz, said ""They definitely looked like they were involved in a tussle."
But instead of cheering the fearless Chuck, Schwartz said, "I hope that's not going to affect the future funding of my zoo."
The dumbass Schwartz doesn't realize he could make Chuck a national hero and attendance would shoot up at his damned old zoo.
Now what we need to do is insist all politicians celebrate groundhog day, and breed a lot bigger and more ferocious species of groundhog.
With the right kind of planning, all we need is one more groundhog day and we'll all be "free at last."
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