Cowgirl Sass & Savvy

Swappin' recipes

Julie Carter

Common cowboy cooking is widely acclaimed to be the very best, spiciest, most original and filling of all cuisines of the world. At least that's what the cowboys will tell you.

For the rest of us mere mortals, skepticism is a healthy recommendation.
However, in the spirit of fun, I want to share with you a couple of cowboy recipes provided by the already famous for his cooking, Dan the Team Roper and his roping partner Jess.

Speed in preparation is the first priority for Dan, a confirmed bachelor. Second on the list of importance would be a meal that can be shared with his trusty cow dog, who also helps him cook.

Dan and his dog had been on a steady diet of burritos made of Spam, Velveeta and mayo.

His preferred delicacy had always been pig-lip baloney, but he had not been able to find the delicacy anywhere this side of the Mississippi. He was heartbroke about that.

Learning by experience, Dan recommended using the genuine Velveeta because in his vast experience with cheeses, the cheap substitutes would not work.

After roping practice, he and Jess were comparing notes from the long-ago time when Jess had also been a bachelor.

Chili and eggs was Jess's masterpiece, but both agreed that only Wolf Brand Chili would qualify for the main ingredient.

The number of eggs to be added was dictated by the number currently in the icebox.

Optional ingredients would include ranch style beans, pork and beans, potatoes, if any were cooked, onions, the occasional stray sock or whatever else got in the way.

It was especially critical that the chili be put in an iron skillet, thoroughly cooked down to the burrito-fold stage before adding the eggs. This would result in a scrambled look. If added too soon, the eggs would vanish.

Several likely pointers of this nature were passed on.

The next evening Dan reported that both he and the dog gave this meal a five-star rating.

Encouraged that Dan appreciated his culinary achievements, Jess imparted his recipe for fried deer meat, instant mashed potatoes and gravy thick enough to make everything stick together.

It was understood that it, also, would all be wrapped in a flour tortilla.

As the roping practice progressed, the cooking lessons kept pace, and then the subject of milk came up.

Dan had tried powdered milk with no luck. The dog was pretty picky, and so was he.

Once again, he was adamant it was necessary to buy the good brand and possibly, even necessary, to mix it according to the directions. That depended on the available time.

On those days when it was a good idea to start out with actual food for breakfast instead of an adult beverage, milk was a essential.

Jess was a planner and a logical, organized man. Willingly, he shared his secret time-saving breakfast method with Dan.

It was necessary that perhaps some female had left behind a collection of small Tupperware dishes for this efficiency. Then one could put a measured portion of Grape-Nuts, powdered milk and sugar in each of the containers, seal them and stack.

Then the only additional ingredient would be water.

The major drawback to this gourmet meal was it was not one to eat while driving, and the dog didn't like Grape-Nuts.

However, it was noted by Jess's wife that he had somehow quickly overcome his bachelorhood eating habits and adapted quite nicely to her cooking.

Although on stressful days, he still preferred Wolf Brand chili and eggs.

Julie can be reached for comment at www.julie-carter.com.

She suggests sticking with canned peaches.