Cowgirl Sass & Savvy

Cowboy purchasing agent

Julie Carter

Sometimes the only required items for cowboys to fix anything are baling wire, duct tape and some old-fashioned sweat.

Occasionally, specialty items are required and that means assuming the role that in corporate America is labeled "Purchasing Agent."

In a corporate situation, that title would get you a corner office, but in the cowboy world, that gets you a pickup seat on the way to town.

One particular morning, Jess was faced with the 4-wheeler being out of commission. This vehicle was critical to his ranching operation because it was used daily to gather the roping cattle.

He dropped everything and headed to the NAPA store for a new battery.

There, he was told by the knowledgeable parts man that the exact battery he needed would be $75, but he kindly added that they were cheaper over at Walmart.

Ever frugal, Jess took his advice and headed that way.

At the Walmart battery department, located at the very back of the store, he was faced with a lady clerk.

She told Jess that in order to buy a new battery, it was store policy that he must trade in an old one.

Jess was parked out by the place in the parking lot where they sell the puppies and park the big rigs, but he dutifully walked all the way out of the store and the five miles to the back of the parking lot, making the return trip with his old battery in hand.

The lady clerk promptly uncrated a new battery, showed Jess the instructions in Arabic, Chinese, Spanish, French and finally American. Together they tried to decipher them.

As it turned out, in order to activate this battery, they needed a vial of acid, something to pour it in the battery with and a trickle charger.

Faced with this complicated problem, Jess asked what the charge would be for all this equipment. The total with tax was $119.

Quick with the math, Jess lugged his old battery back out past the "puppies for sale" and returned to the parts store.

There he discovered the NAPA man had forgotten to mention all the extra equipment that would also be needed for the NAPA battery, although he did not require an old one be turned in.

All said and done, the register rang up about $20 more than the total Walmart price. Jess added that to the price the six-pack it would take to help him recover from the entire experience.

And then there is Dan

One would think that if one were at work, minding one's own business, trouble wouldn't be any closer than one's plans for the weekend.

As per the aforementioned minding one's own business at work, Dan was tending his at the implement dealership that pays him to fix and sell things along with providing him with respectable employment.

High marks for a cowboy.

One day the Fastenal rep stopped by, as sales reps tend to do. This company peddles nuts, bolts and small, seemingly useless but somebody buys it, hardware. The dealership is a regular stop for the Fastenal guy.

However, likely in a plot to create an income stimulus, they sent a blonde.

As Dan reported it, "Her waist was this big (thumbs together, hands spread out about 10 inches), and her chest was about this big (hands spread out at arms length and Dan has very long arms).

His eyes grew bigger along with the description of the measurements.

With that, he admitted that he had bought a couple hundred dollars worth of bolts.

Carol, his secretary and buddy, came by and said, "Dan, you know we never sell bolts."

Dan replied easily, "We're fixing to start."

He reported that the shapely blonde rep went into the parts room with him, looked everything over, dusted off some of the things that had never in this lifetime been moved, and then told him the store looked to her to be pretty low on inventory. He ordered them all.

Now every time somebody comes into the store and up to the parts counter to get something, the store employees are required to ask the customer if they need any bolts with that.

Stop by the store and tell Dan you need some bolts, but only if the Fastenal rep is there to preview them.

Julie can be reached for comment at jcarter@tularosa.net