Baxter Black: The Udder Side

A recent acquisition for my audio parody library is a CD entitled” The Udder Side,” composed, recorded and available by Judy Williams at judyntom@ixi.net. It contains such titles as the dystocia calf's lament, “Take These Chains From My Parts and Set Me Free!,” the grafted calf's favorite “She Can't Kick Me Now ‘Cause Mama's Tied!” and the spring-drive theme song, “Don't You Ever Get Tired of Herding Me!” Ms. Williams surely must be a cow psychologist, the way she can see inside their thinking. Since we all have global warming on our minds because the press and the Algorites keep pointing to cows as a major producer of greenhouse gasses, her song about “Vegan F ... Flatulations” was spot on. It seems to me that most of the urban animal rights activists, Defenders of Wildlife, Sierra Club zealots and politically correct Luddites proclaim themselves vegetarians. It is a trade-off to maintain credibility. I mean, if you want to remove all trace of humans in the wilderness, release endangered wolves in downtown Beverly Hills or Detroit, and think eating ice cream, cheese, hamburgers, spare ribs and chicken wings is tantamount to murder, then it is a sacrifice they should make. However, there is a corner they have backed themselves into, that must give them consternation. I would assume that omnivores (the human race) who restrict their diet to only plants might experience a change in their visceral bacterial population. Now, I don't know that as a fact. But if you've ever heard a faithful vegetarian claim that he got sick from eating broth that had been stirred with a spoon they'd used to serve the chile con carne, it might be proof that enteric conversion could happen in people...more