Baxter Black: If you only had a cowboy ...

There's an old saying, "A mule is as good as a horse, 'til you need a horse." Or, of course, the revorse! I saw a photo in the newspaper of a man standing in the surf trying to throw a rope around the tail of a beached baby humpback whale. My first thought was, "A marine mammal biologist is as good as a cowboy, 'til you need a cowboy." "If only I had a cowboy." How many times have you thought that yourself? Like two years ago when your cat got stuck up a tree. Sure, you called a firefighter. They showed up with sirens blaring and lights flashing. Then they broke out the ladders and attempted to climb up the tree. A cowboy would simply have roped the limb, dallied and bent the limb back double. Then, with true cowboy clarity, he would have shucked the dally, released the limb and catapulted the cat into the neighbors stock tank where the Navy SEALs could have rescued him! Or, say you were being picketed by the Humane Society of the United States, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and the lunatic fringe for texting non-organic messages to caged hens encouraging them to "lay one for the team." You realize that reasonable dialogue with moon-eyed zealots is futile, so you call a cowboy...more