by Julie Carter
When it comes to pranks, foolishness and just plain stupid stunts, cowboys have a pretty fair corner on the market. Their consistency is proven in both word and deed, documented by the stories about any given “fun.”
Usually "stupid" is directly related to something they should not have roped, something they should not have ridden or, sometimes, someone they shouldn't have married.
These “what were they thinking” moments are followed closely by a list of pranks they pull on each other that should have, but didn't get them killed.
And, quite frequently, the influence of an adult beverage can be attributed to the situation. Not a requirement you understand, just a given.
Cody and Tom were serious ropers – or at least as serious about roping as they ever got about anything. They were wheat pasture punchers by trade and during this particular winter, they had cattle scattered all over the Texas Panhandle.
They’d been doctoring sick bovines all day and had more than their share of roping and giving shots. Late in the afternoon, they decided it would be prudent to test a little of the fresh moonshine they had recently acquired through means they refused to discuss in the discourse of this fable.
They unsaddled at the headquarter pens and began making a game plan for the next day, all the while conducting the quality control test on the moonshine.
These pens were home to a bunch of chronically sick calves and after some sippin’ time had passed, the two decided some of those ailin’ critters needed to be roped. No reason required – except that they were there.
The kids' bicycles were leaning up against a nearby fence and in their enhanced frame of mind, their thoughts were that transportation is transportation. The bicycles would work fine as these calves were pretty sick.
Some laughing, crashing, joking and yee-hawing time passed and finally they’d roped all they wanted to rope of the calves. However, also standing in the pen was a big stray Santa Gertrudis cow that belonged to a neighbor.
The old hussy weighed at least 1,200 pounds, had long, heavy horns and was on the wild side of a little crazy. Cody bet his buddy he couldn't rope the old cow and, of course, Tom couldn't pass up the challenge.
He shook out a loop and quickly snared the cow around the horns with the other end of his rope tied off to the handlebars of the bicycle he was riding.
Cody just couldn't help himself or pass up this golden opportunity. He threw open the corral gate to the wide open spaces of a very large pasture. Not missing her chance, the cow left through the gate at a dead run trolling Tom and the bicycle behind her.
Tom was holding his own until the bicycle hit a hole in the pasture. He had on leggings and spurs and as he dug in to hold on, the spurs sheared off all the spokes in the back wheel of the bicycle.
In the inevitable wreck that followed, the old cow disappeared over the hill dragging the bike. Tom was left in a heap on the ground right at the point where the laws of physics were no longer in his favor.
Somewhat later, the cowboys’ wives showed up with supper for them. The cow had run through yet another a gate tearing it up and rescuing what was left of the bicycle didn't make anybody happy, especially the youngster that owned it.
Supper that evening was a very solemn affair. Wasn't a funeral, but may as well have been. The gals didn’t find much humor in the story as it was told to them and the cowboys kept a sharp eye on the location of the cast iron skillet as it was washed, dried and put away after supper.
“Darla, honey,” Cody crooned. “We were just havin’ a little fun. I mean, what are friends for anyway?”
Julie can be reached for comment at jcarternm@gmail.com.
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