Cowgirl Sass & Savvy

The perils of tater tot casserole

 by Julie Carter

Any man will tell you that bachelorhood has its advantages, but cooking isn't always one of them. A cowboy stays pretty busy all summer - always in a hurry and trying to get his work done so he can do his other stuff that involves horses, saddles, trailers and ropes.

One time back when it rained and the monsoons were forced through the area by a couple of landlocked hurricanes, Jack had to fend for himself for days on end. With his buddy's arena underwater, there was no roping practice and therefore no home cooked meals from his buddy's wife.

For Jack, the rain brought on some of the issues that become glaring in bachelorhood. No one to visit with except the dog, and while that's acceptable most of the time, there was also no one to cook for him except ... himself.

Proof of the danger in that came one evening. 

Leaving his job at the feed store and feeling quite hungry, Jack stopped at the grocery store on the way home to buy the fixings for a tater tot casserole. This now-famous dish had been made notorious by a neighbor and his recipe found its way to Jack's house. 

Upon arrival at his humble homestead, he placed the frozen tots in the bottom of a casserole dish, added a can of Wolf Brand Chili on top and then a nice covering of grated cheese for the next layer.

Thinking his culinary creation was looking quite good and the recipe could be improved on, he added a few sliced-up wieners to the top and followed that with a layer of diced jalapeños. 

To his way of thinking, this had to be about the best supper ever.

Knowing he had piled a lot of food into the one dish, he shoved it in the microwave and cranked it up a ways. His thought was that it would take a while to get it all warmed completely through so he gave it plenty of minutes on the timer.

Deciding to make use of the cooking time, he headed out to tend to his chores at the corrals while his delectable dinner cooked nuclear-style.

As cowboys are wont to do, he got sidetracked and it was a good 30 minutes before he got back to the house. What he found inside his kitchen was the aftermath of the complete explosion of his microwave and its contents. That wasn't part of the recipe but it was the part that made it notorious.

There were wieners and tater tots stuck all over the ceiling with tendrils of cheese hanging in various places around the room. Blobs of chili were splotted red in places that would never be the same. 

Too tired to care much about the mess, his main concern was still the fact he was very hungry. Like most cowboys in cow camp after long hard day, he resorted to the old standby - canned peaches.

He drank off the liquid and then filled the can up with whiskey. Falling into a resigned slump in his favorite easy chair, he ate his cold supper of "pickled" peaches while the weatherman spoke of more rain.

Pondering on his situation, he blamed it all on the rain - after all, none of this would have happened if he had just been able to rope.

Julie can be reached for comment at jcarternm@gmail.com.