Sunday, June 09, 2013

Cowgirl Sass & Savvy

Ranch wife survival

 by Julie Carter

It's an old story and an ongoing hazard for the ranch wife -- a husband that says, "Hold that gate and don't let her by." 
By her, he is referring to a thousand pound, snot-blowing, completely irritated cow that has every intention of going wherever she wants to and that will include through or over the top of the very gate the little woman is holding.
In a couple hundred years of cattle ranching, the bovine species has never gotten the memo that when the ranch wife is holding the gate, you don’t really have to remove it from its hinges.
When it comes to ranch work, allowances for special treatment because of gender are non-existent. When the operation is a "mom and pop" deal, mom has to pull her share of the duty without regard to stature, age or any of the usual necessary domestic duties.
As that determined cow steam rolls toward the gate with an obvious determination to exit at all costs, and the little woman holding said gate knows "this is gonna hurt," --there is a flash of mental calculating that determines what happens next.
With Herculean strength, at least in her mind, she more often than not will try to hold her own, ergo hold the gate, against the cow, steer or even a freshly weaned 500-pound calf. With a hope of the odds and perhaps angels on her side, she prefers that option to the inevitable hollering or cussing she’ll get from cowboy husband if she doesn’t do it.
She knows from experience there are consequences if she decides to pitch the gate away and run.
With any luck at all, the results won't require a wild and bumpy pickup ride to the "local" hospital emergency room a couple hours away. That would really mess up a well-planned afternoon of getting some cattle sorted and tended to before dark.
But sometimes, the cow wins. Odds are she'll be a favorite cow, one that's raised 5-6 good calves and has a healthier chance of living a long life on the ranch than the wife does.
And although she's a little on the cranky side even on a good day, her production stats determine that she be given dispensation for her attitude and grievances against the little missus.
And the missus? Well according to the head cowboy, she needs to get a bag of ice on that eye because come Monday, she’ll have to be presentable for her job in town.
There are a few tough gals who have learned quitting is sometimes a temporary option. Nothing, absolutely nothing, taxes a ranch marriage like working cattle together and especially in the corral. Husband and wife sign language flies with enthusiasm and hollering comes in waves of some feigned attempt to control frustration. 
Worth remembering is the story about the cowboy who, in his anger at his non-compliant help in the corral, told his wife to "just go on to the house. I'll finish up by myself."
Obediently she got in the pickup and drove home. However, in his tempered state, he had forgotten that they'd come to the pens together. That pickup she drove off in was the only vehicle at the corrals.
It was an eight-mile walk back to the house.

Julie, a purple-heart veteran of the cow and gate wars, can be reached for comment at jcarternm@gmail.com

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