J.B. and Deb are among those couples who form the backbone of agriculture. Their diversified operation includes livestock, loans, machinery and kids. There are times when it seems they can read each other’s minds.
They were coming back across the pasture, bumping along a two-track dirt trail on a Polaris Ranger, when a skunk wobbled out of the grass and onto the trail.
Deb felt, rather than saw, J.B. smile. “Don’t you be thinkin’ what I think yer thinkin’,” she said flatly.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“You know what I mean ... runnin’ over him. Don’t you even be thinkin’ that.”
“Aw,” he said, “How can you think I’d do something as dumb or insane or stupid as runnin’ over a skunk!”
“Ya know,” she said, “That’s what I told my mother when she asked if I was gonna marry you.”
J.B. sped up just enough to catch the skunk. He jumped off, grabbed a shovel from the back of the Ranger and took out after the skunk. He was stumbling in his rubber boots over the rough ground but was athletic enough to wield the shovel. It clunked the ground, bounced back and thumped the skunk.
In the “Compendium of Skunk Thumping” one would learn that skunks are of the Order Carnivora (which includes mongooses and hyenas) and I quote “If you encounter a skunk, back away slowly and quietly ... be careful not to frighten them ... an extremely fetid liquid ...”
If a person is close enough to thump a skunk, (an arm’s length plus 4-foot shovel handle), it is reasonable to assume this person would be within the skunk’s range. It has been shown that skunks can spray 20 feet, weather permitting, and be accurate at 10 feet.
J.B. took a full load, which according to “The Skunk Authority” would be approximately a tablespoon of musk. Now, a tablespoon doesn’t sound like much. But the skunk’s extremely fetid liquid reacts slowly with water to activate. Thus, the more you try to wash it off, the more you activate the smell!
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