To do
it all again
by Julie Carter
His thickened, aged hands held a pencil poised over a small
notebook as his thoughts took him back where his heart still was. In his mind,
he could clearly see the moment.
It was a crisp fall morning and the smoky smell of a cedar
fire from the bunkhouse stove was held low to the ground by the frigid air. He
pulled the cinch on the bronc he'd just roped from the remuda, knowing that he
was tightening his saddle down on a thousand pounds of buck that was about to
commence.
At 20, he was not only ready to do battle with the bronc,
but knew he'd win. With the thought came a grin, knowing how much he loved the
challenge. Be end of a long day and many miles, the colt would be a better
horse and making a friend.
As predicted, when he snubbed the colt up close and stepped
into the stirrup, quickly throwing his leg over the saddle to take a deep seat
before the explosion, the bronc came apart with a loud grunt and a snort.
The other cowboys stood around the corral watching, laughing
and taking bets. After a few minutes of squeals and explosive effort from the
horse as he did his best to unseat the cowboy, the bronc pulled up into a short
gaited lope around the pen. The cowboys on the ground threw open the gate,
waved their hats in the air. The show was over as the cowboy and the bronc
followed the breaking daylight to the horizon.
The old cowboy's mind returned to the task at hand,
energized with the recall of the happiness he had felt in those days when he
could top any bronc in the pen, spend from dusk to dawn in the saddle, and be
anxious to do it again the next day.
A humble cowboy, he knew he was just one of many that lived
in an era that was now relegated to stories and memories. His memories were
unique only to him and the need to share them with someone was pressing on his
heart with each passing year.
Inside his gnarled, knotted body, crippled by too many
occupational wrecks, lived a soul that longed for the freedom of his youth.
Reality allowed that it would soon soar, but only to that great roundup in the
sky where he hoped most of his compadres waited for him.
A tear slowly formed at the corner of his eye as he wrestled
with the burden to write down his lifetime of cowboying from California to
Texas. Through the years, he'd drifted from one state to another and the names
of ranches, men and horses, each with their own detailed story, ran through his
mind as his shaky hand formed the words.
He didn't recognize the legendary life for what it was while
he was living it. He wasn't even quite sure now why it seemed better looking
back at it than it did living it.
He did know that the words he put to paper would be all that
was left of who he was when he was gone. But his intent was not for himself,
but to tell those that knew him that he remembered, that it mattered.
What he knew was that he'd give all that he had, which
wasn't much, to turn back the clock far enough to do it all again, just one
more time, one more day in the saddle.
It's all that ever mattered in his life. One more day in the
saddle.
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