Despite its cinder block-like intelligence, gurgling vocals and dangling snood, there is nothing absurd about the turkey being nominated as our national bird. After all, a group of entomologists has tried to convince Congress to name a national insect. Their suggestion was the monarch butterfly.
I
have always assumed that the turkey was passed over for the bald eagle
for obvious reasons; beauty, grace, majesty, strength and inspiration.
But after watching Congress consider the monarch butterfly, I realized
how it is simply a matter of which special interest group presents the
most convincing case.
There
was considerable rancor stirred amongst the feminist groups when they
pressed their case for a national insect to represent them. They were
divided between the ladybug and the queen bee.
Organized
religion sprang forth to submit their nominees. The Catholics liked the
idea of a preying mantis on the 50-cent piece. The Methodists suggested
the water skipper while the Baptists chose the lobster.
The
legal profession marshaled its considerable influence behind the
scorpion. Civil service employees thought the humble, diligent ant would
be a good choice. Roto Rooter placed the tumblebug into consideration.
Suggestions
for the national insect came pouring in from special interest groups:
Pork Producers — the sow bug, carpenters — termites, insomniacs — bed
bug, librarians — book lice, Nike — millipede, Republicans —the Sherman
tank, Adams County bowling team — bowl weevils, uncle wanted aunts, the
A’s wanted the B’s, Volkswagen wanted the beetles, honky — tonkers
wanted night crawlers, and the Texans thought the oil derrick would make
a nice national insect!
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