Years ago, one of my friends was exploring the marketing possibilities of his latest venture which followed his unsuccessful Starling Sanctuary and the pencils made of duck feet. He planned to supplant Mutant Ninja Pizza as the greatest thing since sliced cheese! Jim’s Secret Seasoning! To enhance your BBQ experience! He closed his eyes as visions of Secret Seasoning blanketed the earth like volcanic ash. You could almost smell the belch of Mt. St. Helens. “But we gotta have a gimmick,” he said.
Jim’s Secret Seasoning could be used to disguise the real flavor of fruitcake, Metamusil or airline food. It could be served at cocktail parties next to the punch bowl, in the fifty-pound block! The list of potential uses was endless; tanning hides, pickling fatback, wart removal, dumpster disinfectant, insecticide flavoring, cellulite peel…we planned on and on, calculating fertilizer spreaders, railroad cars and supertankers scattering Secret Seasoning to the ends of the earth!