Sunday, August 14, 2016

It's The Pitts - Cowboy Commandments

by Lee Pitts

I've learned a few things from cows and cowboys over the years, such as...

• Good veterinarians are hardly ever on time.
• It doesn't pay to be a tightwad when it comes to buying a horse, vaccines, a good cow dog or feeding the replacement heifers. Buy the cheapest bulls and you'll sell the cheapest calves.
• Never let the lady from Pooch Pampadours, the local sheep shearer, or the gardener give you a haircut. You'll either get fleas, your hair will look like a topiary poodle or it will take a year to grow out.
• When cattle prices are sky high, sell every calf you own. The time to build your herd is after the crash. Don't play any game where the house makes all the rules. Hear that futures traders?
• I don't care where you live, don't buy a house where the monthly payment is larger than the square footage. Example: a $4,000 monthly payment for a 900 square foot condo. Never buy anything mechanical that is bigger than your home and always remember, you can't buy a ranch that you can pay for with cattle. Still, there's no better investment in the world.
• You can learn a lot by frequenting the coffee shop where farmers hang out, like how to apply for all the government programs for feed and fencing.
• Never take an ovulating mare to a branding or a roping.
• Never hire a cowboy whose truck bed is filled with beer cans, who is addicted to team roping, doesn't have a hitch on his pickup, has silver on his saddle, or is too proud to cut hay. The best help you'll ever have is the person sleeping next to you. Absent that, hire a man and woman with five kids of working age.
 • Where the grass is good you'll have no water, where the grass is bad you could open a water park. And just because it hasn't rained in six years doesn't mean it will this year.

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