Sunday, November 13, 2016

Lee Pitts - An app for that

Here are ten smartphone apps that we desperately need some geek to create:

#10- Everywhere people are hunched over and staring at their smartphones. I wish someone would invent a beeping system whereby five seconds before a person crashes into a wall going full speed, or falls down a sewer hole, their phones would start beeping like a dump truck going backwards. This would prevent half the patient visits to emergency wards.

#9- Here’s an app equestrians and cowboys could use. After you’ve put your left foot in the stirrup and about the time your right leg has reached its apex over your saddle, Clint Eastwood says on your smartphone, ‘I know what you’re thinking, Did I tighten my cinch strap or didn’t I?’ This would at least prepare the rider for the oncoming wreck.

#8- Income taxes cause a lot of unhealthy stress and what’s needed is an app that would sweep all your accounts of any money and break into your piggy-bank and automatically forward it all to the IRS, which is what happens now, only this would cut out the paper work and the middleman.

#7- It’s one thing to trust your teenager with the family’s 1985 Oldsmobile, it’s quite another to trust he or she with your $500,000 harvester. Farmers need an app that every five minutes would shut off the video game your teenager is playing while they’re driving the harvester.

#6- If you’ve been to your doctor lately you know that your Doc hardly looks up from the computer because they’ve all gone “paperless.” Patients need an app that will interface with the Doc’s Ipad, interrupt the Doc’s blank stare, and force he or she to notice that you’re holding a roping glove with your finger in it and are bleeding to death on his office floor.

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