Sunday, December 11, 2016

Cowgirl Sass & Savvy

That’s how it is in New Mexico
By Julie Carter

I truly love New Mexico and all the idiosyncrasies that make it unique. There are things about New Mexico you can learn only by time spent here which is followed by the knowledge that normal is without definition.

What once might have been questioned for its validity soon becomes completely accepted. Those that find issue with the way it is usually don’t stay long anyway.

Some years back I came across a list about living in New Mexico authored by some unknown person. I thought it to be humorous, correct and worth sharing.

All festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable.
Onced and twiced are words.
Coldbeer is one word.
“Jeet?” is an actual phrase meaning, “Did you eat?”
100 degrees is just a “tad” warm.
The first cool snap (below 70 degrees) is described as good chilly weather.
Switching from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day is not unusual.
The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct. 2 until June 25; then it stops totally until Oct. 2.
When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it is time to see a doctor.
You come to know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
Carrying jumper cables for use on your own car is expected.
You think everyone from north of Farmington or east of Roswell has an accent.
Distance is measured with time not miles. “It’s about 45 minutes away.”
Sweetened ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it at age two.
Only four spices are found in your kitchen: Salt, pepper, catsup and Tabasco.
Sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
The four seasons are: almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.
Fix-in-to is one word.
Green grass does burn.
Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
You work until you are done or it is too dark to see. Or as they say, from can to can’t.
The sounds of coyotes howling at night only sound good for the first few weeks.
There is a valid reason why some people put razor wire around their house.
Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in New Mexico.
There are 10,000 types of spiders and all 10,000 live in New Mexico plus a few yet undiscovered varieties.
The local paper covers national and international news on one page but requires six pages to cover Friday night high school football.
The first day of deer or elk season is a national holiday.

In 1985, when I moved from the Denver-area to this Land of Enchantment, my initial impression of New Mexico was that the clock had been turned back at least two decades.
While the charm of that was certainly as promised -- “enchanting”-- it could also be very frustrating. Gearing life down from a metropolitan fast paced do-it-now, we want-it-yesterday world was an adjustment.

But New Mexico has a solution for that too. It is called “mañana,”-- a word that is more than just a word. It is an attitude that the natives of New Mexico are born with and wear with honor. A promise to all that arrive—don’t bother to get in a hurry because we don’t.

Julie can be reached for comment at jcarternm@gmail.com

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