Sunday, March 05, 2017

Baxter Black: To be honest

I was walkin' through the show barn at the Stock Show. As I passed two fellers sittin' 'round a tack box, I heard the words, "Well, to be honest…"

I froze in my tracks! It's been my experience that anything preceded by those four words usually turns out to be a windy conglomeration of half-truths, excuses, sales pitches and exaggerated claims bound to make even the most gullible sucker have second thoughts.

"Well, to be honest, the guy I bought her from said she'd settled every time that he bred her. So I think my A.I. man must have a faulty tank."

"Well, to be honest," said the horse trader, "I've never seen him limp like that. It must be the humidity."

"Well, to be honest," said the purebred man to the show superintendent, "I've noticed that discoloration on her belly myself, and occasionally her calves have a white tail, but two years ago they built a nuclear power plant down the road from the farm. Shoot, even my Labrador bitch has spotted pups!'

"Well, to be honest, I'd never thought of sellin' this bull. His weight per day of age was tops in my herd and I've been offered $50,000 for him…but if you're really interested…"

"Well, to be honest," said the fieldman to the breeder, "I'd like to help you put on your sale but I'm booked that day. When is it?"

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