Every dry cloud has a silver lining. I
have been very lucky these past seven years in that it hasn't rained and
I haven't had to cover the hay! I have a friend who hasn't been so
fortunate. John lives in a wetter climate and he and his wife got
divorced last year and he blames all their arguments on having to cover
the hay stack.
Recently the ducks have relearned how to
swim around our place as the storms have been coming every other day.
This means of course that the hay has to be covered every other day
after loading the feed truck. During a recent break in the weather I
took the time to explain the proper method for covering the hay stack to
my recently divorced friend in case he should ever want to remarry.
"The trick to spreading the tarps while
balanced precariously atop a hay stack in the strong winds that always
precede a storm is tires," I explained to John. "Basically you need
three things to cover a hay stack; heavy tires, a good tarp and an even
better wife. With our proven method I get on top the stack while my wife
stands in the bed of the truck and lifts the heavy old truck tires up
to me. Then I strategically place them on the tarp to keep it from
blowing."
"But why not let the wife be on top of
the stack and you lift the heavy tires up to her?" asked my stupid
friend. It's no wonder his wife left him!
"Because my wife is afraid of heights," I
explained. "Oh, sure I used to put her on top of the stack but that was
before the little incident when she discovered a mice nest in the top
of the hay stack and tried to run from them. It was a nasty fall and she
had to take the rest of the afternoon off to do housework. Ever since
she's been afraid of heights."
"I can certainly understand that," said a
sensitive John. "Have you ever considered building a hay barn?" he
asked, as if I was made of money.
"Yeah we're getting tired of covering hay. The worst part is about the
time you get the hay all snugged down and covered up it's time to feed
and all the hay is underneath the tarp that is covered with heavy tires.
One by one I have to drop those heavy tires off the stack. Here's a
handy hint for you, John. If you decide to use the tire method please be
advised that it is never possible to get the rain water out of the
tires so when they hit the ground it's like a ten megaton water bomb. I
can tell you from personal experience that your feeding partner does not
want to be standing too close when they hit."
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