Sunday, May 14, 2017

Baxter Black - Cow population

(The following excerpts are from the Oklahoma Livestock Committee meeting on Species Relations. Voting members include beef cows, feedlot steers and dairy cows.)

“Will the secretary please read the state demographer’s report?”

“Yes, Madam Cowperson. For the first time in the history of the state, the human population will surpass the number of livestock.”

“You mean the era of ruminant dominance is over!”

“Tsk, tsk..”

“Gasp! Bellow!”

...“Yes! We who have cut the trails and settled this country are now relegated to minority status!”

...“Gulp. They will soon be moving us from our pastures. They will force us from the open plains and high mountain valleys! They will pave our homesteads and cover the grass with Verizon stores!”

“That’s true, sniff. Humans have an odd perception of what is beautiful. Asphalt strips, concrete barns, burning rubber, landfills...they foul their own nest. It is amazing that their species survives.”

“Yer honorable Cowperson, I think we are over-reacting. In spite of their numbers, they seem fairly disorganized. I’ve spent a lifetime looking over the fence. Their roads go in all directions. Their cars go back and forth all day. Where do they go? Why are they going? It’s a wonder any of ’em finds water.”

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