It's coming! Political Correctness in the
Animal Kingdom! I have conferred with those fervent homogenizers of the
once colorful and descriptive English language to formulate the
following list:
STRAY DOG. Both words are unacceptable.
They imply that a four legged mongrel is subsisting as a vagrant. We
have chosen the term Misdirected Wagamorph.
MUSTANG. Definitely out! Associated too
much with a greedy automotive corporation. We are going to protect them
into extinction. They shall henceforth be called Adoptable Equine
Derivatives.
KILLER WHALES. Need I say more! The name
suggests that these beautiful creatures would rather kill and eat living
things than down a Kelp Burger in the shape of a baby seal. We're
calling them the Masked Cetacea.
FAT STEERS. Entirely out. No slur shall
be made about the weight or their sexual predicament. Each cattle buyer
will now deal in Ready Edibles. No, that won't work either, can't
mention bulls. How 'bout Ripened Ruminants.
...But if we truly worried about the
Political Correctness fad, what are we gonna call a cowboy? A two-Legged
Ungulate Overperson? Why not.
"Git along little Disenfranchised Mobile Nurture Seeker."
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