Sunday, February 11, 2018

Lee Pitts: Fake News

• Did you hear the American Angus Association has just bought out all the other breed associations in a multi-billion dollar all-cash deal? Henceforth ALL the other beef breeds will NOT be referred to as Hereford, Simmental, Beefmaster, Brangus, Charolais, etc., but will instead be called "other breeds." Henceforth if you want to raise beef cattle they must be at least 50 percent Angus and if you use anything other than an Angus bull you must have a VBD (Veterinary Breed Directive) from your buried-in-bookwork veterinarian.
• Johns Hopkins announced that after the completion of a multi-generational study they have discovered that a vegetarian diet will stunt both your physical and mental growth. Not eating meat, especially beef, could cause acne, diarrhea, rash, hives, peeling skin, wheezing, tightness in the chest or throat, unusual horse-ness, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, tongue, or throat, chest pain, fast heartbeat, dizziness, passing out, very bad headache, coughing up blood, upset stomach or throwing up, weakness on one side of the body, trouble speaking or thinking, change in balance, drooping on one side of the face, blurred eyesight, ringing in ears, loss of memory and reduced IQ. The researchers also found that vegetarians don't live one day longer than someone who ate ten pounds of beef per day… it just felt like it. In fact, the researchers found that many vegetarians died from depression and sheer boredom.
• As you may know, the Bautista brothers who own JBS and are now in jail for bribing Brazilian politicians and other crimes. That didn't stop them from signing a billion dollar deal with Brazilian prison officials to use Braizlian prisoners in their packing plants as slave labor. From their plush prison home on the grounds of the Club Med Prison in Sao Palo, the Bautistas said they have also obtained a multi-billion dollar loan from the Brazilian government to implement their new scheme. The Bautistas hope to implement a similar plan in the United States and Australia and a certain Senator from Kansas has called their plan "brilliant" and is now sheperding the JBS plan through Congress. It's been put on a fast track and we could see full implementation by next year.

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