Lee Pitts: Poco Not So Bueno

As we continue to unwind the double DNA helix, more and more genetic diseases like HYPP, GBED, HERDA and PSSM are popping up that can turn a valuable stud into horse meat for Frenchmen. For example, I used to think highly of the Quarter Horse Poco Bueno, but not after he was found to carry the recessive gene for HERDA, a genetic skin disease found in Quarter Horses. Researchers now think that Poco Bueno's sire line, going all the way back to the legendary foundation sire King, may be responsible for the genetic disorder. In other words, Poco is not so bueno any more. Whereas he used to be referred to in hushed, reverential tones by a pedigree reader at a horse sale, even if he was five generations back in a pedigree, now a reader or auctioneer doesn't dare mention Poco Bueno's name.

Genetic diseases have also popped up in previously valuable cattle which prompted a pedigree cleansing in which beautiful, high dollar cows ended up in someone's Big Mac. What we haven't realized yet is most of our politicians and bureaucrats have also been found to carry highly destructive genetic disorders. For example…

SICKO- This genetic disorder in politicians causes them to send nude photos of themselves to young interns. These career politicians can be found laying around and guzzling from the public trough. They are inefficient, eat more than their fair share, can't forage for themselves and originally crawled out of the quagmire of New York or California.

HERDA- This isn't the horse disease of the same name but is a human disorder in which the afflicted blindly follows the herd, always voting the party line. Upon being autopsied they are found to have no conscience. They are more than willing to lay down YOUR life for their country and the disease can last anywhere from two to 65 years. They are easily identified because they refer to their colleagues as "The Honorable So and So." Even if they are only honorable imbeciles.

SPIDER- When I was in the club lamb business we bought a ewe one time to use for breeding only to find out later that she had spider syndrome, more formally known as ovine hereditary chondrodysplasia. This recessive disorder affects the growth of cartilage and bone in sheep and if you looked at the crooked front legs of our SPIDER ewe they looked like two parentheses: ( ). There are also glassy eyed, SPIDER politicians who are even more crooked. SPIDER politicians weave intricate financial webs and then spend most of their time trying not to get caught up in them.

SOB- These inbred SOB's care only about getting reelected and will do anything to keep his or her cushy job. They approach everything with an open mouth, speak stupidly and use wishy-washy words for hours on end without really saying anything.

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