What I don't know about golf
By Julie Carter
I've learned to do a long list of jobs since becoming associated with news writing.
Small
newspapers require "Girl (or guy) Friday" kind of employment and
everyone does many jobs to get the newspaper to the newsstand.
A
new and recent jewel in my crown is photographing golf. The sports
editor went on vacation and yours truly was drafted to shoot golf
tournament photos.
I'm willing, but not sure if I'm able. Surely
it will add to my sports photography resume that covers basketball,
football, volleyball, track, rodeo and political races.
The
sports guy and I made a little practice run before he disappeared off
into the California sun. Crash course is a better description.
If
you know Todd, you know he rattled off the particulars of the sport at
warp speed like he thought I was going to remember it all AND recall how
to find four or five particular golfers in a "pasture" stocked with 75
guys in khakis and polo shirts.
He herded the golf cart down the
winding paths like a NASCAR driver, pointing at green spots between
little hills, peering right, left and back to find a certain golfer. All
this while waving a little golf course map in my face assuring me it
was not a hard assignment.
I was holding on to the cart, my
camera and my concern for my safety as trees flashed by. We met other
carts and the rapid U-turns indicated we were headed the wrong
direction. Like I would know.
I'm certain none of this is out of the ordinary if this is your world. For me, it was a foreign land.
Mark Twain said, "Golf is a good walk spoiled." I know now why I've never heard anyone say, "Hey, let's go watch golf."
If
you are a golfer, you love the sport. If you are not a golfer, you will
yawn. But be sure and do it quietly. Even TV golf teaches the protocol
is to be very, very quiet, as indicated by the wimpy little "golf clap"
that is eventually allowed.
I'm a rowdy sport kind of girl. I
like sports where, as a spectator, you can cheer, yell and holler a
little to release some exuberance for what is happening on the field,
track, floor or arena. If I spent very much time on the greens, I'd
undoubtedly be asked to leave.
Bogeys, birdies, putts, tees, par,
chip shots, in the rough, on the green, fairway --all a foreign
language to me. Fortunately, I don't have to write it, just quietly and
unobtrusively take pictures. Watch for me on "America's Most Un-wanted"
after I've been escorted from the premises for forgetting not to cheer.
There are some similarities to this sport and my cowboy world of roping and rodeo.
Both
use handicaps to give the less skilled competitors a better a chance.
It brings in more entry fees for the really good guys to win a bigger
pot. It just isn't polite to call it what it really is -- "Sucker, come
donate your money."
Both have tours, pro's, am's, champions and hot shots with big egos.
Even the name of one of the tournaments in town, Tight Lies Tour, could just as easily be announcing a team roping event.
I
know where to stand, sit or hide when I'm taking pictures at a rodeo,
roping or on the ranch. It is basic instinct for me to not get hurt by
the livestock, the action of the event or an irritated competitor.
I've never been whipped with a catch rope. I just hope I can always say the same about a golf club.
© Julie Carter 2006
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