A concept in protecting coyotes has been
introduced by a group of Montana animal rights disciples; Predator
Friendly Wool. They proposed to develop a market for wool raised on
ranches where sheep are not protected from predators. The sheep raisers
who do not practice predator control are to be paid a bonus on their
wool. They propose to sell Predator Friendly Wool products through
boutiques.
Well, all I can say is
HALLELUJAH! When was the last time anybody wanted to help sheep people?
The government took away wool subsidies, eco-freaks wear petrochemical
derivatives and cowboys won't eat sheep. Suddenly, from out of left
field we have concerned citizens with expendable income willing to buy
and wear wool items. The hitch is that the sheep ranchers must help feed
the coyotes, wolves, bears, lions, eagles, wild dogs, carnivorous
poachers and mutton loving piranha.
How
can we go wrong? We'll get national promotion. We can reduce costs by
laying off herders and border collies. Park the camp wagons, use the
carbine guns as planters, sell the mules. And all for the price of a few
baby lambs and old ewes.
Sounds
pretty good, doesn't it? And if the idea works it may spread to other
areas. Inner cities, for instance. They suffer from a terrible image
problem. The streets are unsafe, tourism is nill, budgets are always in
the red. How about Predator Friendly Neighborhoods.
Any
community that did not discourage muggers, buglers, murderers,
arsonists, purse snatchers and other assorted predators would be given
increased federal dollars.
Police
expenses would be cut drastically. Courts would close at noon. Lawyers
would desert the community. Tours could be scheduled that allowed
sensitive patrons to see predators in their natural habitat rolling
winos, mugging passers-by, selling drugs and stealing cars. And all in
an environment nationally advertised as Predator Friendly.
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