Report: Adam, Eve Actually Punished For Eating GMO Fruit In Garden

A new report by the Bible Scholars of America found that Adam and Eve were actually punished for eating the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden because the fruit was genetically modified.

The new evidence suggests the rule against eating the fruit in the Garden was in place to ensure Adam and Eve would only consume organic, non-GMO, pesticide-free products.

“For centuries, theologians have pondered the question of why the fruit was forbidden in the first place, and now we know,” said scholar Dr. Jacob Hancock. “It had been modified in the laboratory and treated with a host of pesticides. When Eve picked it up to eat, she would have clearly seen that it lacked an organic label, or a sticker showing that it was pesticide-free.”

“She really should have known better. Everyone knows the ‘organic’ label designates fruit that is much better than that GMO stuff,” he added

Having seen that Adam and Eve had partaken in the modified fruit, the Lord declared them sinful and sent them from the Garden, positioning an angel in front of the entrance to ensure they could never return and eat the deadly GMO fruit.

SATIRE