DuBois column - Why 13 is such an unlucky number for us plus the problem of oppressive ice cream

Why 13 is such an unlucky number for us plus the problem of oppressive ice cream

Ocean’s 13

Why is the number 13 considered so unlucky?

Some believe it refers to the Last Supper, where there were thirteen at the table and Judas of Iscariot, the betrayer of Christ, was the 13^th person to arrive.

Others says it was because of the traditional thirteen steps leading up to the gallows. One historian said there were thirteen steps to the gallows, “12 up and 1 down.”

Thursday September 13 was a Bad Day at Black Rock for those who believe in such quaint things as private property and limited government, as we have been led to the gallows and are almost sure to hang.

That’s the day the House Committee on Natural Resources approved two bills, Restore Our Parks and Public Lands Act and legislation to Permanently Fund the Land & Water Conservation Fund.

The first bill would take the remaining fifty percent of the revenues from oil and gas leasing and devote it to funding the $16 billion in deferred maintenance on Department of Interior lands. The feds can’t manage the 640 million acres it owns, so they will raid the federal treasury to spend more on mismanagement. Instead of addressing the amount of lands under their control and setting priorities, they will just pour money into the existing mess. If you had a business with many items in disrepair, wouldn’t you take an inventory and determine which assets should be repaired and which should just be done away with? That is why I have previously suggested the feds take a page from the Base Realignment and Closure Commission (BRAC) and form a Park Realignment and Closure Commission (PRAC) to perform the same mission for our parks. Then decide how and where money should be spent on maintenance.

Sorry, but nothing like that will be entertained by Congress. And make no mistake; these are monies that were going directly to our Department of Treasury. By diverting these funds they are increasing our national debt as these funds will no longer be on the plus side of the ledger, and instead will appear as expenditures. The same week the Committee passed this bill I found the following newspaper headlines:

“National debt jumps $500 billion in less than six months”
“US National Debt at $21 Trillion”

“Government borrowing – and the deficit – soars despite robust economy”

“National debt is spending problem much more than a revenue problem”

The DC Deep Thinkers know, though, that repairing the toilets at our National Parks should have the highest priority.

What could be worse? That same day the Committee passed a bill to permanently fund the Land and Water Conservation Fund (LWCF). Congress established the LWCF in 1964 to to “assist in preserving, developing, and assuring accessibility to…outdoor recreation resources.”  The feds use the LWCF to purchase private land and turn it into public parks and other recreation areas. The LWCF is the primary vehicle for land purchases by the four major federal land management agencies. Congress authorized the LWCF for two 25-year periods; the program expired for the first time in September 2015. In 2016 Congress extended the LWCF for three years in an appropriations bill, and it will expire again on September 30, 2018

Rob Bishop, Chairman of the Natural Resources Committee had originally been pushing a replacement bill that would have greatly limited the amounts to be spent for land acquisition and instead would use the funds for other purposes. It would have also limited the amount of lands the feds could acquire in the West. Instead, Bishop reached a compromise with the Ranking Democrat, Raul Grijalva, to throw all that out and permanently fund the program with the proviso that states get 40 percent, the feds get 40 percent, and the other 20 percent will be spent based on the needs at that time. Apparently, the disappearance of private property is now okay with Republicans, as long as the states get their fair share.

Some Republicans on the Committee remained concerned about the continuing federal acquisition of land at a time when the maintenance backlog is in the billions of dollars. If the government cannot maintain the land it has now, they reasoned, it shouldn’t be buying more.“When we hit the $1 billion and $10 billion in deferred maintenance, it seemed clear that we should not be buying land until we get this backlog down,” said Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas. Gohmert offered an amendment that would have required spending down the backlog before acquiring any more land. The Republican-controlled Committee rejected his amendment. 

Rep. Paul Gosar, R-Prescott, concerned about the burgeoning size of the federal estate, offered an amendment that would have required the federal government to sell an acre of land for every acre it bought. The Republican-controlled Committee voted down his amendment. 

Notice I said this bill would permanently fund the program. There is no cutoff date as in the past. That means the feds are authorized to continue acquiring private property in perpetuity. It will never stop. 640 million acres is just not enough. They have poorly managed that 640 million acres, they have allowed much of it to fall into disrepair, but they just must have more.

Sept. 13 was a very bad day and I’m betting this bill will pass before the September 30 deadline.

Zinke exposes settlements

Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke has issued an executive order to increase transparency when the Interior Department enters into consent decrees and settlement agreements. Ethan Lane, executive director of the Public Lands Council said, "Ranchers operating on public land are subjected to relentless, coordinated litigation designed to force settlements with the Department of the Interior." Interior alone paid out more than $4.4 billion in monetary awards under terms of 460 settlement agreements and consent decrees between Jan. 1, 2012, and Jan. 19, 2017. In other words, Interior paid out an average of more than $800 million a year while keeping key aspects of litigation secret. It’s easy to see why so many outside observers fear an unaccountable bureaucracy cutting deals with activists. “The Department of Interior is shining light on a corner of government most people don’t even know exists,” American Farm Bureau Federation General Counsel Ellen Steen said. “When activists sue, they can tie up the government with dozens of frivolous claims but still recover attorneys’ fees if a judge upholds even one, solitary claim.”

 I guess if we can’t stop it, we can at least expose it.

Oppressive Ice Cream

Since some flavors of ice cream contain beef gelatin, a group of students at the University of Wisconsin are crafting an “Ice Cream for All” resolution that would force the University-owned Babcock Dairy to produce ice cream with more “inclusive” ingredients that do not discriminate against or “marginalize” Muslim, vegetarian and vegan students. 

Clearly, this is a battle against Neapolitan Nazis! Butter Pecan Bullies! Rocky Road Right wingers! Chocolate Caesars! French Vanilla Fuhrers! Tutti Frutti Tyrants! One commenter on my blog suggested I hold an Ice Cream Social for Socialists. But I don’t think Sweet Sharon would let them on the place.

Until next time, be a nuisance to the devil and don’t forget to check that cinch.

Frank DuBois was the NM Secretary of Agriculture from 1988 to 2003, is the author of a blog: The Westerner (www.thewesterner.blogspot.com) and is the founder of The DuBois Rodeo Scholarship and The DuBois Western Heritage Foundation

This column first appeared in the October editions of the NM Stockman and the Livestock Market Digest