Sunday, December 02, 2018

Lee Pitts: Long Gone

You've worked, scrimped and saved to put together a ranch for your children only to learn that your kids want no part of the ranching lifestyle. This has created a shortage of slave labor on ranches that could lead to the decline of western civilization. So I've developed a little test to determine early on if your children want to come back home to the ranch or move to New York and become a ballet dancer. Please answer "yes" or "no" to the following questions.

(1) Does your son or daughter refuse to wear a cowboy hat and does he or she have a nose ring, tongue stud and a colorful collection of tattoos?

(2) Would you say your child prefers the music of Kanye, Jay-Z, Notorious Mr. Big, Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, 50 Cent and Busta Rhymes over that of Kenny Chesney, Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood?

(3) Does your child attempt to get out of chores around the ranch by insisting he or she is allergic to hay and animal hair?

(4) Would your offspring prefer a family summer vacation going to Lego Land and the Star Wars exhibit at Disneyland over spending a week showing an animal at the county fair?

(5) Does your offspring prefer to wear a black hoodie with Cargo pants instead of Levis, Wranglers and a Carhartt sweatshirt?


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