No comparable “bottom(s)-up” Calculations
F*rtology
Measure the Vegans!
By Stephen L. Wilmeth
Yesterday’s
morning trip to the ranch was an exercise in dung patch and bovine f*rtology.
We had a dozen unworked cows. So, they were run through our homemade tub into
the chute. Two vaccinations, Cattle Master and Stay Bred FP, were administered,
a generic pour on was shot with a setting of 950 pounds per animal, and their
tails were bobbed. The latter has become our practice to provide a visual
reminder of who is processed and who might have been missed. It’s always a
messy confrontation with copious amounts of fresh defecant and accompanying
secondary flatulence. Without a doubt, it
would offend coastal lefties, but the setting has been shaped.
This matter
of cow farting has become a repeated point of conversation. What was once
assigned to discussions out behind the barn or shared in communal exchanges in
camp after the third day of straight frijoles has now become byline fodder for
nightly news and kindergarten protests. Everybody seems to be talking and
disparaging the honest cow who plods along giving of herself to the benefit of
mankind.
It’s
ridiculous.
For the matter
of providing some support for the cow, a Google search of studies on her behalf
was done with a comparative search for similar studies by her cultured antagonists.
Literally, conclusion driven research to besmirch her existence by the latter
outnumbers any suggestion of her benefits by at least 100 to one. The odds
could actually beat that, but the goal of the anti-farters clearly implies that
the world would be a better place without her.
It’s more
than ridiculous, and it is time to start standing behind her regardless of the
consequences.
F*rtology
Jerrell
sent me a You-Tube link about an incident whereby 90 cows in a German barn
literally blew the roof off their comfy confines. There was no background
detail to determine if those cows were left out in the cold subsequent to the
explosion or to the extent that any hair loss contributed to the brutish
conditions they may have been forced to endure until shelter was reestablished,
but the implication was established. Cows fart excessively and the methane they
produce is a singular vessel of evil that directly impacts the anthropogenic
GHG (greenhouse gas) that the kids are being taught to despise.
In the bowels
of the report, though, a little matter was offered that only the most astute
observer would have caught. There was a similar explosion in a Mexican office
building in 2014. Mexican office building? There are no cows in a normal,
Mexican office building, but that is the point.
There is
absolutely no composition difference in bovine and humanoid methane. Methane,
CH4, is CH4 regardless of what sphincter through which it is released. In
concentrations as low as 5%, it can explode in the presence of a spark, or a
match, or a flame driven torch.
Aha!
If the world of science is going to
measure dung patch emissions, it is time to measure all of them … including
those of the human beast.
No Comparable “Bottom(s)-up” Calculations
In Dr.
Albrecht Glatzle’s fascinating (maybe fascinating is an exaggeration) research,
Methane Emissions from Livestock Have No
Detectable Effect on the Climate, the good scientist sets forth the premise
that “there is no scientific evidence, whatsoever, that domestic livestock
could represent a risk to the Earth’s climate”.
Those are
pretty revolutionary words based on what we hear every night on the boob tube,
but his theory is simplistic. When GHG have been plotted by the drive by
science centers, the baseline emissions, those emissions that existed before
managed agro-ecosystems, are never subtracted. Further, the popular science
relies on bottom(s)-up calculations. The issue here is the theoretical farting
done by cattle is multiplied by the estimated number of animals in the world as
if they are marginal producers that once didn’t exist. The question becomes,
what about all the great herds that the rewilders worship and want to return to
our Great Plains? Don’t the current populations of cattle in fact duplicate
that mass of flesh and blood, and fart in similar proportions which is then absorbed
into the baseline emission totals?
The truth
is the contribution of GHG by cattle has always been notoriously and purposely overstated.
Measure the Vegans!
If the
suggestions there are more people living on Earth today than all combined
history, there is a valid argument that the direct contributions of GHG by
humans has a much different footprint than cloven hooved ungulates in terms of
additions to the baseline.
Nobody
seems to want to measure human farting, but there is definite reason to do so. A
study by the Carnegie Mellon University has assessed the USDA recommendations
for diets and have found an alarming if not unexpected result. The fruit,
vegetables, low fat dairy products and seafood that are being recommended have
more GHG emission potential per calorie than historic American diets. The study
came to that conclusion by measuring energy use/blue water footprints by
American consumptive patterns. Contrary to what we are being told, the
contributions by overdependence on vegetables has a negative contribution to
climate change. In fact, the USDA recommendation on lettuce alone has a
threefold harmful impact on climate than bacon!
Eggplant,
celery, and cucumbers are similar in terms of harmful impacts as compared to
pork and chicken.
Obesity has
harmful effects, too. The summary suggests that being skinny reduces the GHG
footprint. Diets being acclaimed by vegans and the obese increases the
footprint. Energy use of food in their diet is up 38% over traditional American
diet. Water consumptive demands are up 10% and the bell cow, GHG, is up 6%.
The bottom
line is these people need to get their own at-risk luxury apartments properly vented
before they order changes in our lives.
Stephen
L. Wilmeth is a rancher from southern New Mexico. “Neither of my grandmothers
would have approved nor understood the need for this subject.”
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