Lee Pitts: The Marketing Power Of Me

I’ve noticed that some of my fellow cow columnists have taken to endorsing products to supplement their income from ag periodicals and weekly newspapers who, up until now, have made it possible for all of us to live such lavish lifestyles. I guess the hope is that farmers and ranchers will see the columnist’s picture, read their endorsements and that goodwill will then be transferred to the products being promoted. These celebrity cowy endorsers are quoted as if they are Plato, Socrates or George Clooney.

I suppose you’ve noticed that I have not lent my name or image to any company in return for cash. There are several reasons why, number one being no one has ever asked. It doesn’t help that I absolutely hate having my picture taken and I’m not exactly what you’d call “photogenic.” Seeing my photo attached to a product could have negative consequences. For example, if some squeeze chute manufacturer made me the face of their company and put my picture on the tailgate of their chutes you can imagine the increased difficulty you’d have in getting cows to voluntarily enter the squeeze chute. Likewise, if a manufacturer of cattle trailers put my picture on their products you’d never get your cattle loaded. You think your horse is balky now about loading, just wait until it takes one look at me on the trailer!

If a supplement maker put my mug on their tubs cows would stay away from them in droves. This could be a huge selling point to cattlemen in that it could reduce rancher’s yearly supplement costs dramatically, but I doubt the supplement makers would see it this way.

I think BIG business is really missing the boat, like the constipation industry. Why wouldn’t a big drug company who sells anti-constipation remedies think of me first as their spokesperson? Just one look at my photo on the label of a product would be enough to scare the you-know-what out of any constipated cow. If Oprah can advertise for Weight Watchers and Lindsay Lohan for some rehab joint I can surely be the face of constipation.

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