Sunday, July 28, 2019

Lee Pitts: Sticker Shock

If I appear to be walking a little funny lately it’s because it’s sticker season. It’s that time of year when all the foxtails dry out and attempt to attach themselves permanently to my clothing.
This time of year I find those seedy little thorns everywhere; in my boots, my socks, in between the sheets of my bed and all over the floor of my house. But they seem to have a particular affinity for my undergarments, like my socks and my underwear. Most people think I have a pained expression on my face this time of year because of the dry weather or the seasonal dip in the cattle market, but actually it’s because I am constantly being stuck in a sensitive place by a stiletto-like-sticker. And these burrs are starting to really get under my skin.
How, you may wonder, do I get a foxtail sticker stuck in my shorts? Normally that would be a good question, but then you haven’t met my wife. She is a great housekeeper and washes at least three loads of clothes a day, and mind you, there’s just the two of us. It’s this constant washing and drying that allows her to redistribute the stickers from the cuffs of her pants to my shorts, my socks, my sweatshirts and the bed sheets. The stickers are now very clean but this constant washing has done nothing to reduce their power to stick to everything.
Thus I have become a real fanatic about removing all the stickers prior to the spin cycle. You might say I have become a real “sticker” for not allowing the darn things in the house. I view fox tails just as I do cats and dogs, they should never be allowed inside.

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