The only reason I can think of for going
to conventions is to fill up swag bags full of free stuff at the trade
show. During my career I’ve put together a world-class collection of
tally books, nail files, tote bags, magnetic calendars, water bottles,
mini-flashlights, decks of cards, post-it notes, key rings, posters, and
letter openers. I’m drawn to free stuff like a heat-seeking-missile and
have found that with very little effort you can do all your Christmas
shopping at trade shows for free.
Trade
shows are Halloween for senior citizens. You walk around putting free
stuff in your sack and you don’t even have to wear a costume! Although,
if you want to go back several times to the booth that’s giving away
expensive and high quality sorting sticks you may want to wear some sort
of disguise.
The dirty little secret
of trade shows is that the really good stuff like clocks and apparel is
hidden and is only given out to VIP’s, so be sure to mention you’re
already a good customer and you may score a jacket, watch, pocket knife,
or Cross pen and pencil set. Using such a technique I haven’t had to
buy a new jacket in over 50 years. (Although my wife did think it was
uncouth for me to wear a Select Sires® jacket to a wedding.)
Every
year there’s a sizzling hot item that everyone’s giving away. For
instance, I have a five foot stack of free mouse pads with the names of
drugs on them that used to be very popular before track-pad technology
rendered them obsolete. I looked for alternative uses for them such as
hot pads in the kitchen, but all I succeeded in doing was embossing the
word Ivermectin® on the countertop and on the bottom of my wife’s
favorite sauce pan.
Another year cup
holders that keep your drink cold were popular. I have an entire kitchen
cupboard full and my wife constantly harps on me to get rid of them but
I just know that after I do one will show up on Antiques Roadshow for
$30,000. Cotton roping gloves with an advertising message are popular
now but if you’re as bad a roper as I am a single pair can last a
lifetime.
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