Sunday, September 01, 2019

Lee Pitts: Real Funny

A sense of humor is often mentioned as one of the characteristics that distinguishes man from animals. Mark Twain said, “Humor is mankind’s’ greatest blessing.” Notice that Mark just mentioned “mankind,” he didn’t say anything about animal kind. Scientists who’ve studied such things don’t think that animals are capable of comedy. Oh sure, Holsteins might not think Rubes or the old Far Side cartoons that make fun of them are all that funny, I’m here to tell you though, the rest of the barnyard finds them hysterical. And what cowboy doesn’t find it funny when one of their cohorts is splattered with recycled hay or kicked in the shins by a cow? I’m telling you, cowboy poets would be out of business in a heartbeat if cows weren’t funny.

People who say that cows don’t don’t ham it up on occasion often point to their straight face, stern manner and lack of a smiling countenance but just because we never see them on Comedy Central or the Tonight Show doesn’t mean they aren’t laughing their four guts out inside when a herd mate eases a cowpoke over a fence with her sharp horns.

Then too, this whole political correctness thing has put a big damper on the jokes animals can tell each other. They can’t let out a guffaw at the handicapped dog with three legs, the fat hog who should be on The Biggest Loser, or the undocumented immigrant steers from Mexico, because we’re all so supersensitive these days. Quarter Horses can’t tell Thoroughbred jokes, Longhorns can’t make fun of the puny horns grown by Herefords, and Pinzgauers can’t tell Blonde de Aquitane jokes because, well, they’re blondes. Angus cows can no longer laugh at the slutty jezebel of a crossbred who got pregnant at ten months of age, and no farm animal dares to smile or have a good time because that would destroy PETA’s ad campaign that says non-human companions are unhappy because we beat them all the time.

I’ll be the first to admit that some species of animals have a more developed sense of humor than others. I think we can all agree that sheep are the most dour but I don’t know if it’s because most jokes go over their dumb heads, or they have heard all the lame ewe jokes before.

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