Sunday, September 29, 2019

Rattlesnakes and enviro predictions


Rattlesnake Trough
Symmetry
O for 41
By Stephen L. Wilmeth

            Who controlled the past controls the future
            By all rights, I should have been snake bit Friday. At the end of miles of new pipeline, the last water trough was almost finished. The last touches including the new, visually correct agency color scheme and the ramp to rescue the least adept of the fowl nation were about to be addressed. Under the weight of the ramp and responding to the help that should have been packing the thing, I had braced myself against the trough as the expanded metal contraption was positioned and fitted.
            “No, put it over the lift ring”, was the instruction. “That’s where it is supposed to fit.”
Something just wasn’t right, though. That something turned out to be that snake coiled against the cool side of that freshly filled trough that I had stepped on as I balanced myself under the load and lowered the ramp into the water.
“Yeow!”
Simultaneously, I jumped and threw that ramp as far as I could in the neuron flash interpretation of that line of sight discovery.
“San Antonio (at least that would be Luke’s interpretation of the actual involuntary snake speak response)!” was the drawn-out reflex.
“Did it strike you?” was the first question from the peanut gallery.
            “I don’t think so,” was the first, albeit unsure continuation. “Golllee, I was right on him!”
            “Give me my dang shovel!”
            0 for 41
            Who controls the present controls the past
            My brother sent the combined phraseology to me. It was from George Orwell. It is profound. Begrudgingly, it is likely true.
             Amid all the continuing doomsday forecasting of what became global warming in earnest in 2008 when that climate professor of the ages, Al Gore, predicted an ice-free Arctic by 2013, the accuracy rate of the green left is abysmal. In fact, it is impossible to verify even a single prediction has come to pass since 1967 when some character predicted famines by 1975.
            At that time, the looming seminal event was to be an ice age rather than sunbathing on the coastline of the Arctic Ocean. The coming cold was going to be a fuel burner beyond all expectations. The peanut farmer, the one who managed the scheduled use of the royal tennis court from the office of Air Force One, even predicted all oil reserves would be depleted by 1992.
A 1976 consensus amongst the democratic state of science concluded our troubled
planet earth was cooling like the contents of a Canadian goose bowel movement emptied out at 30,000 feet. The Gore syndrome, however, was hitting its stride by 1988 when the mercury trend models were starting to go the other direction and the dire expectation of scalding temperatures were going to impact DC’s future. In fact, the mercurial rise was so intense the Maldives were going to be underwater by 2018, and, oops (missed the sequence here) rising tides were going to obliterate nations if nothing was done by 2000.
For heaven’s sake, children were not even going to know what snow was by 2000!
            By then, the anti-protein crowd was also starting to vape warning that if we didn’t release the fish on our stringers, shoot the cows, and switch to tofu from dairy products famines were going to kill the remaining settlers by 2012. In 2004, there was a miscue predicting London would join the likes of Siberia for winter sledding by 2024 only to be updated by the Prince Charles’ 2009 declaration that elite thinkers only had 96 months to save the world from the Atacama heat.
            Then, of course, the swarms of killer bees were going to be streaming north trying to find a cool place to live as they killed the children in their path of flight. It was all enough to give an old drag queen a splitting headache.
            We’ve got to remember all of these predictions were brought to us by individuals holding respected positions in government and science, both counter bastions of democracy, and a media not just enthusiastic for a sensational headline, but reliant on a ready and authoritative archival collection of charlatans for learned references and exclusive scoops.
            For the record, all 41 (some are now saying 42 with the emergence of the Gore child prodigy from Sweden) of the top shelf scientific predictions missed the mark completely, and don’t forget … we are expected to believe this continuing crap is for real.
            Symmetry
            In a touch of epic symmetry, the underwriters of all this nonsense, we the taxpayers who financed the existence of the first of the indefensible prognosticators, are expected to continue to finance their likeminded scion. The irony is there will be no plaque or marker applied to our graves in memory of our regulatory and fiscal sacrifice for the nation and world we served for the cause of liberty and justice. We will, however, have a fairly good sense of the ruthless and dangerous enemy that we serve in our bonded servitude.
            At this point, there is certainly no cause célèbre for a more rational outcome. On the contrary Das dicke Ende kommt noch (the worst is (likely) yet to come). We are spiraling toward our own Armageddon.
            That leaves every one of us standing on a rattlesnake.
            In our treeless desert habitat, that outcome has consequences. Other areas and natural habitats may be different, but there is no sanctity of a seamless cleanup process in what we have allowed to be created. Shedding soiled undergarments is rather unflattering and humbling experience, but that is exactly what Washington really needs.
            The orchestrated destruction of segments of any population has consequences and lingering effects. Our country was created by a wondrous collision of events, resources, and circumstances.
Let’s just see if it is all worth defending.

            Stephen L. Wilmeth is a rancher from southern New Mexico. “Reconsider the Orwell statement in the context of any era. The consequences are too real to imagine.”

Many times, Wilmeth evokes memories for me. Many nostalgic, some pleasant, and some not so pleasant. For instance, stepping on a snake.

There was a draw than ran through town (Corona, NM), under the underpass and onto my Uncle Archie Perkins place. After a good rain or two, my cousin, Rand Perkins, and I would have to saddle our horses, grab a hoe, and work that draw by chopping down all the jimson weed and cockle burs. We would chop, ride our horses until we found more, dismount and chop away. 

I believe I was in junior high at the time, and I really disliked this annual or semi-annual chore. On this particular occasion we must have been running a little late, because most of the plants were a foot to 18 inches high. I was thoroughly bored, walking along, leading my horse when I felt it. Something was squirming under my boot. Now I wasn't absolutely, 100 percent sure that was a snake, but that made no difference. I was considered to be an excellent high-jumper in school, but I broke all personal records that day. When I returned to earth and my mind finally settled, I had to retrieve my hoe from where I had pitched it. In my leap to safety, I had apparently spooked my horse, but Rand quickly gathered him up. I also recall the vengeful joy experienced in chopping that snakes' head off. 

Is there a connection between serpents and enviro predictions? Yep, the latter are pure snake oil.  

--Frank DuBois

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