Julie Carter
Now that I have your attention, this is not about underwear, mostly. In the day-to-day nonsense and banter that whips through the cowboy world, there are always a few short stories that offer up a chuckle but aren't a volume on their own.
These are a few of those "shorts."
First, I will report that the buxom Fastenal nuts and bolts salesgirl that had our man Dan the Team Roper, aka farm store purchasing agent, so interested in fasteners, has quit. She's been replaced by just a regular guy.
Dan is broken hearted, bought no more bolts but did admit to having a three-year supply already in stock.
There seems to be a pattern here that keeps him in a state of bachelorhood with his dog Mary Margaret and cat Gato for company.
The upside is that all is well since he acquired the new toaster oven. He finds solace in cooking.
While the nuts and bolts business has plummeted at the New Holland store, Dan is admiring his friend Rob's operating plan.
Rob says he has three gals on the line and one on his "to-do" list.
While he seems to have one romantic disaster after another, it hasn't occurred to him that it could be his technique.
He told the current gal he didn't have any more time to spend with her.
This was while telling another that he had out there on the horizon and at the phone call stage, that he was out of a girlfriend at present because he mostly kept one around for recreational purposes.
She did not relate to that well at all.
From romance to ropers
Lloyd and Russell are both ace-high, in-demand heelers and the two of them seem to trade out winning it all at every event where they both show up to rope.
Russell is looking for a new heel horse and when Lloyd got word, he just happened to have a whizbang great heel horse for sale.
He wants a mere $17,500 for him.
In only the length of time it took to rope another steer, down the arena and back to the roping boxes, Lloyd decided he didn't want Russell to have that horse.
"Russell would be too hard to beat if he had that horse," he commented. "I better keep him for myself."
Seems the price or the quality isn't always what dictates a sale in the horse trading business.
Sometimes you have to find every edge you can to stay on top, even not selling the horse that was for sale.
OK, here's the underwear story.
It was a big roping, and a pretty flashy gal-roper named Lisa had drawn a steer with a guy she knew, but didn't see often.
The catch-up visiting commenced. The team knew approximately when they'd have to rope in their rotation, but somehow managed to miss their call and their steer was turned out.
When they finally wandered up to the roping box end of the arena and realized they'd missed their run, the guy-end of this team when up to the announcer fully armed with a plausible reason.
In case you missed it, team ropers are notorious for their excuses.
He told the announcer that the reason they'd missed the call was because Lisa's bra strap had broken and he'd been tasked with the chore of fixing it.
A twinkle in his eye and a nod toward the well-endowed Lisa, cinched the deal.
Whether the announcer really bought the story or not is doubtful, but he rewarded the effort by giving them another steer.
Only a male roping with a female would come up with a story like that to make it her fault. He was hilariously proud of himself. She was not at all entertained.
If you have a smile, share it. If don't own one, find one. Life is much better if you laugh.
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