by Julie Carter
Cowboys are always a never-ending source
of funny quips and one-liners delivered with a matter-of-fact tone that
belies the actual humor within the words.
Put a cowboy on an airplane headed to
the bright lights of Las Vegas during the Wrangler National Finals Rodeo
and his capacity for wit and humor pegs the needle on the laugh meter.
The only thing funnier is an entire plane load of them.
Obviously acquainted and buddies, the
banter passed back and forth amidst the stewardess' attempts to take
drink orders and offer the usual Southwest Airlines snack.
Lightheartedly, one cowboy suggested
little juice boxes would be in order for the lot of them because they
needed to stay sober for their arrival in Vegas. He had been assured
they were to be met by the champion Australian beach volleyball team.
The discussion quickly moved to a recent
trip to Vegas one of the lads had made to stand up in a wedding. It was
for his good friend who had decided, on the spur of the moment and a
night of drinking, to get married.
The story teller said he got called in
the middle of night, jumped on a plane and the wedding took place as
soon as everybody could get there, at
8 a.m.
The cowboy next to him said, "If I ever
get married again, it'll be in the Elvis Wedding Chapel using a bubble
gum wrapper for a wedding ring. That's about as serious as I plan to be
about it. Rode that horse already!"
With only an hour of open-bar time, the
cowboys in rows 13 and 14 managed to get themselves dubbed the "two-fer
boys," both for beer and peanuts. As a parting gift, over the loud
speaker, the stewardess recognized them for their good humor and fun.
She also handed them a large bag of the peanut snack sacks as a reward
for their "show."
Those cowboys gave new meaning to "working for peanuts."
On the shuttle bus to the hotel, a Texas
cowboy, who showed some signs of aging wisdom, said he'd had to quit
gambling. When one of the other passengers asked why, he replied, "They
kept complaining about the spit cups I used when I chewed, and I damn
sure wasn't going to give up chewing."
Eight-time PRCA world champion bull
rider Donny Gay is working the NFR behind the ESPN microphone during the
bull riding. When asked if he thought he could still ride a bull Donny
said, "Sometimes I think so. Then I look down and there are about 25
pounds of me that have never been on a bull."
The trade shows draw as many crowds as
the casinos do. At a National Ropers Supply booth a cowboy was
scrutinizing a belt loaded with shiny glitz.
"That's too blingy for you," she said to
him. He chuckled as he hung the belt back on the rack and said, "I'm
too fat to be flashy."
Words to live by.
12/12/10
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