For some reason this Thanksgiving, I’m
thinking of sheep. The sheep industry is havin’ a fair year. One factor
is lamb being included and advertised in specialty dog food. The
sheepman’s equivalent market to fast food burgers.
How
to strengthen the market, you ask? Breed more dogs, you say? Or get
humans in Canada and the U.S. to eat more sheep and wear more wool? So
how do you get people to buy more lamb? You either change the people or
change the product.
We are living in a
time of unimaginable technology involving gene tinkering. What if it
were possible to change the animal by gene splicing. Say something as
simple as changing the color of wool. How ‘bout a palomino gene to
produce the much sought after Golden Fleece or a leopard gene to get a
spotted virgin wool jacket. Or even a Scotchman’s gene to produce a
fleece that’s already plaid? I can envision wool t-shirts with logos or
rock stars already on the sheep.
Sheep
have never been considered a beast of burden, a burden perhaps, but
never a beast of burden. As is, they could be enlisted to carry light
loads. Pack saddles or panniers would require no cinches or straps. Just
velcro the equipment directly to the wool.
Certainly
we could gene splice in some mule parts or camel humps. We could wind
up with a quarter horse that has its own saddle pad or a sheep with feet
like a Clydesdale. Many animals are raised for the purpose of milk
production. Cows, of course, and goats. By gene splicing we could get a
120 lb. critter covered with black and white wool and a bag the size of
overalls on a dirigible. With only two teats it would halve the expense
of costly udder inflation replacements. This would lead to the use of
hippopotamus gene splicing so the calves mouths would be big enough.
Which would result in better consumption because the shippocow could eat
more in less time.
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